I am married to a responsible man, walang bisyo at mahinahon lang pag nag aaway kami.He does household chores (laundry, cooks, and cleans the house). We are both in mid-30s.Lahat ng gusto ko sa isang lalaki nasa sa kanya except for 1 thing, yung pagiging kuripot nya. Kuripot in the sense na usually sa mga lakad namin nung mag bf/gf palang kami, ako halos gumagastos. Red flag yun sa akin kaya may times nakipagkalas ako sa kanya pero di sya pumapayag. I love him still so I ended up marrying him.
Prior to our marriage, my husband and I agree na kanya2* kami hawak ng pera namin kasi ayokong mamroblema pagdating sa pera and I dont want him to stop me from giving monthly allowance to my parents. Btw my salary is 3x higher than his. After our wedding, we rented a studio unit in which 40:60 kami (7500 ang rent), mine being 60% plus water and electric bills which is ok lang saken. Ganun kami for 6 months. But the place was super small for us at dumadami na gamit namin so we agreed to transfer to another unit tho mas mahal lang ng 1k. He was reluctant at first gawa na di daw kaya ng sahod nya.sabi ko naman retain nya lang yung binibigay nya saken for the rent sa dati naming unit at ako na lang magdadagdag. So ganun nga nangyari. But habang tumatagal, pababa ng pababa ung binibigay nya saken if not zero. Nung nagstart ung pandemic mga 4 months, wala na syang binibigay saken at ng bumalik na sya sa work, 1500 nalang.Pilit kong iniintindi pero nabibigatan ako financially since sumabay din ung pagbubuntis ko (1st pregnancy) sa time ng pandemic so lahat ng bills, gamit ni baby, my OB consultations and laboratories, ultrasounds and even our groceries, ako lahat at nagpapadala pa ako sa parents ko kasi wala naman din sila ibang inaasahan. Pero ang nakakainis kasi, makaasta sya na parang unlimited ung pera ko.sasabihin nya madami naman ako pera na kung tutuusin milyonaryo na daw ako kung wala lang renta.
Minsan saken pa humihingi ng pangload.
This burden gets heavier and heavier. When I gave birth, its my own money parin pinambayad sa bill sa hospital. Buti nalang public kasi kung pinush ko magprivate di ko alam san kami pupulutin after. Now that the baby is with us, xempre mas lumalaki gastos.
He just told me yesterday, 5k daw lang sinahod nya and asked me if ok lang 1500 lang maibibigay nya.sabi ko naman may magagawa ba ako.when he came home from work today, he said ok lang daw ba 1300 nalang.so I got pissed kasi parang good as thank you nalang or parang kunte nalang sabihin pwede ba ekaw nalang lahat. Ang savings ko paliit ng paliit gawa ng ilang buwan di naman sya nagbibigay dahil di makapasok nung kasagsagan ng covid.
It felt like he only married me for convenience. Although bumabawi sya sa gawaing bahay. Consistent yun sya naglalaba, nagluluto, naglilinis ng sahig, nagtatapon ng basura, namamalengke. Ang dating is binabayaran ko yung ginagawa nya. If I suggest some business ideas like magluluto at ibenta nya sa colleagues nya, ayaw nya. So wala kami other means of income. Purely sahod lang namin dalawa. Pero sahod ko lang nagde-deplete. Di ko man makita yung laman ng atm nya, alam ko may pera sya dahil sa kakuriputan nya. Dba asawa ako pero di ko man lang malaman magkano talaga sinahod nya.
I thought matatagalan ko ang ganitong setup and that I wouldn't mind being the breadwinner for this family. But I do mind. It's depressing. But what should I do? I feel like giving up. Any sincere advice pls?