As a childless SIL (pregnant now tho) and a healthcare worker specialising in young children, I’ve refrained from giving any advices to my SILs EVEN when I know some things they do will affect their child’s growth in possibly a negative way. I knew about baby walkers not being recommended but when my SIL got it for her child, I kept quiet about it out of respect and taking into consideration that it’s something she was so excited about for her child. Coincidentally, an article came out about it which my SIL read. She chose to continue with the walker anyways. I had no issue - she’s practicing her right to choose for her child. But She also chose to not put her child in a proper car seat - which almost broke my resolve to mind my own business because I’ve seen firsthand how kids get injured in car accidents without proper car seat. I remember having intrusive thoughts about my precious niece getting into accidents! Talked to my husband about how worried I am but he told me it’s pointless to talk to his sister and told me let it be. Which I did.
Mind you, I don’t think how I do things is necessarily the right thing. It’ll literally break me if something happens to my niece just because I choose to keep quiet out of respect for my SIL. Thankfully she’s all grown up now and she’s ok. I realise that hierarchy plays a part too - I can imagine my younger SIL being ok with my advises (she naturally looks up to me) but not my older SIL (maybe she looks down at me? I dunno!)
I hope you will understand at your end that your SIL is exposed to worse case scenarios that happens to children in her profession and it’ll be such a struggle for her to keep important information to herself. However I understand you’ve your boundaries and this needs to be respected. I hope that should she feel the need to advise you again and it is obviously for something more serious than baby walker, you keep an open mind about it and question yourself if you are actually doing the best for your child by turning down (free!) information that you could easily decline to practice should you choose to do so. If you do decline, it’s A-ok! It’s a problem if your SIL don’t accept your decision though and I think this is when you can use your firm stance on her.
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