Life with two kids

Hi Mummy, I feel the same from time to time. I’m a first time mummy and everything is challenging.. At my worst, I didn’t want to touch my baby even when she was crying. (I had a confinement nanny then, so it was ok lah) There are many opinions and expectations of a mom but they are not realistic. I don’t think any mother can say that they love the lack of sleep and the exhaustion of caring for a newborn, so please don’t beat yourself up over feeling sucky. We just try to get through the tough days until they grow bigger :) It helps to ask for help from time to time. My husband doesn’t help as much as I thought he would but when I tell him I need time off, he will make arrangements so that I can have time to myself. I’ll go out and do something for myself - walk, coffee, facial, massage, window shop. Anything at all. I also stopped breastfeeding early when it didn’t work out which made me feel terrible but my friends keep reminding me that it is okay. I find that it also gets more bearable when my baby started smiling and interacting with me and when I know her preferences. Just bear with it a little longer ok? I’m sure you will feel better. Lastly, no mother is perfect and you are still an awesome mother for carrying, birthing your baby and ensuring your toddler is cared for. Hang in there! ❤️❤️

To me parenting requires both parents to work on it. Sometimes even the whole village because we will need one another’s support. I too, often wonder how my life could have been without kids! I would still look good in shapes, look young, having my career at its peak, having ample time to pamper on myself and doing things I love. But now I could only do minimal makeup , no time to pamper myself, always looking the worse out of me in my whole life and having to tell my bosses that I can’t participate certain events because I have a kid to take care. It hurts me. Then one day i felt why only mothers have to sacrifice. So I came to a point where I lay out everything with my husband and we compromise. i told him if he wants a pretty wife, he needs to provide me with time by taking care of our baby. If he needs me to work as well since he cannot afford me not working with my paycheck then we need to take turn to take care of baby when he is sick and more. There were so many things to speak on and I truly felt these were the game changer. Today, i feel I’m a mother but still the career minded woman I was because of the support I had from my husband and his family.

Dear mummy I’m asking you to seek help because your mental wellness is important. Please don’t assume that “Most mothers don’t feel the same” as I do have my fair share of struggles as well, especially when I have an husband who is having major depression and couldn’t help me most of the time. or get a part time nanny to lighten your load like I did. If you feel everything’s really putting a toll on you, reach out.

Dear mummy, since you’ve chosen to have babies, then there is no room for regrets. Yes it is tiring. But don’t you be grateful that these little ones also adds in much more laughter to you? Have you thought of speaking to a mental wellness counsellor? You may call 6389-2222. Tell somebody and seek help. Your life can be better. (:

Is it due to post maternity blues? I felt almost exactly the same as you after I gave birth.. but after I got over it, I felt no regrets and it’s all worth it. I love my baby to bits and pieces and want to spend my time with him.