in laws issue

I hate my parents in law so much. Im not even sure why.. they take care of my baby on weekdays too. I really dislike it but i have no other choice. My life is miserable. It is making my husband's life miserable too bcos i hate his parents. Anyone also feeling the same way?

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Hi there... I guess I understand how you feel. I don't hate my in laws but I don't like my MIL & I can't get along with her. I don't like her cooking and the way she talk (with attitude at times). She is 'sort of ' helping me with my confinement. I told her I can't eat octupus during confinement (at first she insist of cooking) & her cooking is tasteless therefore I got no appetite & I get hungry easily, I decided to order confinement meals but she wasn't happy. She helps to bath baby and cook for us only. Husband busy helping me to feed & change baby and he needs to help with washing the dishes & mopping the floor (which I felt that my MIL could do the job). MIL still have time to watch TV! I talk to my husband about it, I felt very emo. I cried badly. At the same time I was struggling with breast feeding, I even wanted to run away from home. My advice is always talk to your husband. Get your close friends to visit you or meet up. We also finally decided to put baby to infant care when she is 3.5months. I know I will miss her & worry about her but no choice.

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4y ago

My mil is exactly the same. I think u made the right choice to bring lo to infant care. N good that yiur husband is supportive.

I think it’s not really hate but just jealousy cos you feel like they have so much time to spend with your child but you can’t as you have to work. Even if you bring to infant care, also will feel upset and guilty that you cannot accompany your child more. I would think you need to talk to someone professional and sort out your feelings. Otherwise, think about if it’s possible to take care by yourself. If u can’t, at least you tried and now you know how difficult it is. That way, you’ll appreciate your in-laws’ help more.

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Well first thing first are you guys staying under one roof? If not is it due to you have to work that's why you child is in their care? If you feel that they take much time with your child maybe during weekends you can spend family time with your child or make alternate arrangement this week your side next week your husband side. At least balance the grandparents time and yours just to be fair.

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Same prob. Either put infant care or u look after yourself or dun stay together or stay at your mum place Friday to Sunday. When I dun have my own hse I do tat. When I have my hse I told my husband I am not staying with your mum. Or put infant care. Solve the prob. But worry no choice.

4y ago

Yes.. I think there are benefits to putting baby at infant care too! To save myself from all the mental stress and going crazy, I’ll be sending baby to infant care when there is vacancy!

VIP Member

Cool cool frend ... I can understand u but it is hard to say any comments or give advise as u r the 1 who is going thru ghe issue but my advise is PLS TAKE THINGS SLOW N RELEX FOR UR LO NEED A HAPPI FAMILY God bless

4y ago

Thanks..

I think it’s a common problem.... and a tricky one. I’ve talked to my husband and made him promise that ifc is an option if things don’t work out eventually w in laws.

4y ago

Yeah same as me. But I cannot don’t give it a try too, since husband prefers. Also not fair to him to not even try. So ifc is a backup option when things don’t work out.

Hey, I would suggest have a detailed talk with your husband on this and I am sure with talking you two will get a solution

Super Mum

Your misery is what you make of it. You are making yourself and your husband miserable without knowing why.

4y ago

Thanks pris!!

VIP Member

I had the same issue. idky I hate it when my mil get close to my baby...

4y ago

From someone who's been there, let me tell u that it might seem your baby gets closer to your in laws and might even prefer or choose them but you are still #1 to them at end of the day. My 1st was taken care by my in laws since 2 mths old till now she's 11 and she still places mummy as her #1 and still hugs n kisses me to this day but she doesn't do so to my in laws. So relax and don't worry. If you can look past this maybe you will realize it's still better to hv close ones take care of youelr lo. I say this because I hv a 2 mth old now and my in laws are not going to take care due to old age so I hv to send her to infantcare and its really heart pain for me as much as I dun hv a close relationship with my in laws still trust them more than strangers.

Super Mum

Pay money for infant care. No choice. It will help in long run