Interracial Marriage

I had interracial marriage (with a chinese) and to be frank I am not very sure how a DIL should be like in chinese culture. Unfortunately this was not discussed deeply with my husband prior to our marriage and I am finding it hard to adapt. Please share some advice for me to understand. Very often my IL will bring up “you’re married to your husband family”. What exactly is married to my husband family? Because to me I see them as a family and I act how I am with my own family. Some times I feel sad when others mention that my family no longer have rights on me or I should not be bother about them as much :( Is this part of it? The family also take interest in each other’s personal affair. Ever since we got married and have kids, I told my husband that I don’t mind sharing our views with the family for opinions (to respect them) but not when making decision. I feel like all decision making that concern us as husband and wife as well as our kids should be made by us and others should respect that but it seems otherwise. Any tips or ways for me to understand better and be a better DIL?

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M not from interracial marriage but my parents (mum) r more nosy type than my husband’s parents. She is the kind that likes to say there is no secrets in the family. I used to be very open with her as that was my upbringing, but after marriage I know clearly that my husband and I are one and my new family unit (me, him, future kids) is my priority. she had some adapting to do With empty nest syndrome and all. But eventually after 1-2 years she finally got it. Lesson learnt is that as daughter of my parents, I must learn to stand up for my husband by respecting his upbringing and beliefs may not be 100% same as how my mum brought me up. it won’t help if I just sit on the fence and let my husband be frustrated at my mum, leaving him to fend for himself in front of them. So if I may draw similarities to your case, your husband shld be aware of your feeling and opinions. In front of his parents, he has to make an attitude and behavioral change to “protect” you.

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