16 Replies
Since, you are a good woman, the anger that you are now letting dominate will only make you feel guilty. Your MIL, may be a traditional woman and believes in all that she does or may be not and just faking it, is how she is choosing to live her life. Do not give into the situation. Give yourself a new start. Throw the baggage that you are carrying from the past. You must have heard of Karma! So, it is her karma what she is doing and what you do is yours. I know, it is easy to give all this advice, and when the real situation comes, we all behave instinctively. But, if matters are fine with her now, forgive her and move on. And if she still continues the way she used to, you can have a word with her and tell her how you feel about the whole thing. You are anyway not talking to her, so speaking your heart would not change things for worse. The possibility that there be is only of her realising that she should not utter things that hurt you so badly. You are a good woman, and try to be a bigger one too, and forgive and start afresh. :)
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I think it might be tough if she is still making those negative comments. As much as you may want to get over the issue, your negative impression of her will be reinforced every time she makes a negative comment. While it is not the best scenario, it may still be better than worsening the situation if there is some sort of balance right now. If there is a chance that one day she sensed your negative feelings towards her and wishes to address it. Then it may be a good time to have an honest talk. Most importantly, either party must be prepared to change (either her changing her behavior, or you changing your opinion of her) in order for the main issue to be properly addressed.
Nobody likes to hear nasty comments about their children. If she is nice to you apart from those negative comments, then perhaps you could try to see from her point of view and regard those intentions as good. If you can manage to think that way, then it should be easier for you to get close to her again. Start off with buying a gift and visiting her house with your children. Otherwise, if she doesn't seem to show any extra concern to you and it's not causing a rift between your husband and you, I don't really see the point of reconnecting since it's been 3 years.
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Perhaps her thinking is more traditional and she genuinely does believe that children cannot be praised. I've had relatives who shush me when I tell them that my girl is an easy baby as they too believe that babies aren't supposed to listen to praises. -_- Honestly, I don't know the logic behind this, but if you can sense she has good intentions, you can try opening up to her.