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I know that some people like to wait a few years after marriage or into a relationship to have kids. Other may have troubles conceiving and I know that some are childless by choice. There are many reasons that may lead to this but all can be changed at any point of time. You may be worried that love, relationship, money, sleep, partying no more, excessive crying, someone growing inside me, childbirth, being pregnant, responsibility, etc ... You must make sure that you are ready before even you have 1. Having children is a personal choice. For me, each of our four kids has been brought into my life for a reason. I’m a new person because of them. No longer am I selfish. I am slowly losing my materialistic ways. Daily my mind and body are challenged. I am forever changed, in a good way – and thank God daily for these gifts. But that’s me. Good luck and hope you can join motherhood soon.
It's okay to freak out at the thought of having kids, it's definitely better than freaking out after having kids. Although that's a perfectly fine response too. I think what's important is to understand where those fears are coming from? Are they from feeling 'not ready' for the big commitment or is it a societal/familial pressure? Either way, assess your own feelings about it and make decisions then. Whatever you decide, there's no right or wrong about it, it's just your choice and your opinion. Don't worry too much about it, and definitely don't get pressured into having one just because you think it's normal. If that does happen, you're not being fair to yourself and the child.
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let me say .. having fun with your cousin's kids one Sunday is NOT the same as having one for yourself Think about yourself .. be as selfish as possible to decide .. ITS a DECISION for LIFE Don't hesitate in accepting some truths like I AM NOT READY YET But in the end .. all become well if you own your decisions and work together to make things better. So think about what you wrote "thought freaks you out" .. why?
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I understand how you feel! Even before I’ve gotten married, the thought of having to be responsible for a tiny human being (when I still feel like a kid myself) scared me!! It still does now. But the important thing is to speak to your partner about this and have a discussion on family planning. You are not in this alone and it’ll be good to find out what is your partner’s take on having children.
I agree this is quite normal to happen as having a child is a big responsibility and getting nervous and panicky is quite normal. But it could also be that you are actually not ready to have kids right now, so take your time, think what is it that freaks you about having kids. Discuss with your wife, it has to be well thought and planned decision as it is going to impact three lives.
Probably because you heard too many negative sides of having kids: finance, freedom, sleepless night, tantrums and etc. I never ready to have baby or become a mother until I really have one. Previously I thought I do not like children until I have my own children and amazed by myself how much I can sacrify for them (work, study, time and money).
Who defines normal? What defines normal... Marriage and Kids don't sound normal to me at all... They never did! I don't want to get married, don't want kids and here I think Im normal... I'm normal cause I haven't let the society conditioning impact my line of thoughts. Not everyone needs to be married and have kids, either or both!
I think it's perfectly normal to be scared. As much as I want kids in the near future, I have moments where I worry about serious stuff like career, money, freedom and even shallow reasons like the state of my body/figure. But then I look at my partner and the thought of having a baby that's half me and half him, my fears just go away :)