im at 30 weeks now, my hubby was only enthusiastic in feeling the baby move once, after that he lost interest. 🤣So he doesn't voluntarily get involved much and also doesn't ask how's baby except on practical matters like planning finances. For him, as long as he sees I look fine and eat well, then there's nothing to worry about. Work is also the main priority for my hubby, I know it's his instinct to make sure he can provide for the family so we all don't starve, and I am not expected to work if I don't want to.
i think for them it doesn't feel real yet because they don't see and feel baby except through photos and videos and the odd movemnent through the skin, so they don't connect to the baby like we do. Anw my mum told me my dad never went along for any pre-natal scans - he didn't offer so she didnt ask; and he wasn't too emotionally connected to the bump too.. but it was different when I was born. I have many photos of me and my dad when I was a toddler and we both looked like we were having a lot of fun together.
So don't need to be down, when baby comes out, all the daddy instincts will automatically kick in!