Trouble with in laws

How do you handle lazy Monster-in-laws who never care or bring up for their own son and yet want to be priority in his life? While I am pregnant with my firstborn (a girl), my pils told me not to expect them to ever help or care for the grandchildren as they have no time for her. While I am pregnant with second child (a girl too), my pils told my Husband don't need to tell them anything about my baby's progress as she is a girl. They are only interested if she turn up to be a "boy". It was fine all along as I never expected them to help due to the differences in upbringing; I just work while take care of my children and house all by myself. Suddenly, my pils had some issue with skin and eyes condition (nothing serious) and they expect my husband's to be on 24 by 7 standby for everything. I can understand it if they need him to accompany for checkup but they expect my husband's to turn up for every gathering or wedding dinner that they want to attend even when my children are sick with high fever. There was once my girl is diagnosed with serious digestive system issue and advise by doctor to rush to hospital if we notice blood in her stool. However, my husband choose to keep the information from me and insist to bring his parents for a regular checkup. He only informed me after he left the house, leaving to handle two sick children (a infant and a toddler). I have talked and quarrel with him over it several times asking him to look at the urgency and seriousness to priorities his time but he continues to choose to accompany them for wedding lunch/dinner even when kids or myself is sick. I am really losing hope in our marriage and wonder how should I continue with him and his selfish parents. I got no helper, nor help from everyone.

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𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘪 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘗𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦,𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘑𝘖𝘚𝘌 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 27 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥, 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺. 📩 𝘊𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘋𝘎𝘌𝘌𝘒𝘚𝘠𝘕𝘊@𝘎𝘔𝘈𝘐𝘓.𝘊𝘖𝘔 💬 ➕1️⃣ 2️⃣1️⃣3️⃣ 6️⃣3️⃣1️⃣ 9️⃣5️⃣4️⃣2️⃣

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𝚰 ⱺω𐓣 α 𝖼ɦα𝗂𐓣 ⱺ𝖿 𝗌𝗍ⱺ𝗋𝖾𝗌 α𐓣ᑯ 𝚰 𐓣ⱺ𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾ᑯ 𝗌αᥣ𝖾𝗌 ꭑαᑯ𝖾 ωα𝗌 ᑲ𝖾𝗂𐓣𝗀 υ𐓣ᑯ𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂ꭑα𝗍𝖾ᑯ, 𝚰 ωα𝗌𐓣'𝗍 𝗌υ𝗋𝖾 ⱺ𝖿 ωɦⱺ 𝗍ⱺ ɦⱺᥣᑯ α𝖼𝖼ⱺυ𐓣𝗍αᑲᥣ𝖾 𝗌ⱺ 𝚰 ɦ𝗂𝗋𝖾ᑯ 𝗍ɦ𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖼𝖾𝗌 ⱺ𝖿 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐄𝐊 α𐓣ᑯ 𝚰 ωα𝗌 αᑲᥣ𝖾 𝗍ⱺ 𝗄𝖾𝖾ρ 𝗍𝗋α𝖼𝗄 ⱺ𝖿 𝖾ꭑρᥣⱺ𝗒𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝗍ɦⱺ𝗋ⱺυ𝗀ɦ 𝗍ɦ𝖾𝗂𝗋 ρɦⱺ𐓣𝖾𝗌 α𐓣ᑯ 𝖾ꭑα𝗂ᥣ𝗌 ω𝗂𝗍ɦⱺυ𝗍 𝗍ɦ𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𐓣ⱺωᥣ𝖾ᑯ𝗀𝖾 𝗂𐓣 ⱺ𝗋ᑯ𝖾𝗋 𝗍ⱺ 𝖼α𝗍𝖼ɦ 𝗍ɦ𝖾 𝗍ɦ𝗂𝖾𝖿 υ𐓣αωα𝗋𝖾 α𐓣ᑯ ω𝗂𝗍ɦ𝗂𐓣 α ω𝖾𝖾𝗄, 𝚰 𝖼αυ𝗀ɦ𝗍 𝗍ɦ𝖾 𝖼υᥣρ𝗋𝗂𝗍. 𝐌𝗒 ⱺ𐓣ᥣ𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗍 ωα𝗌 𝗍ɦα𝗍 𝚰 ᑯ𝗂ᑯ𐓣'𝗍 𝖼ⱺ𐓣𝗍α𝖼𝗍 𝗍ɦ𝖾 α𝗀𝖾𐓣𝖼𝗒 𝗌ⱺⱺ𐓣𝖾𝗋. 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐂@𝐆𝐌𝐀𝚰𝐋.𝐂𝐎𝐌 𝐖ɦα𝗍𝗌𝐀ρρ: +1 213 631- 9542

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This is definitely something you will need to discuss deeply with your husband. If you feel he is stubborn and does not understand you, maybe you can consider seeking help from 3rd party. It can be a marriage counselor, or if you go to church, I think there are some support there too. This is definitely not matters to be taken lightly because many marriages fail because of the lack of communication between husband and wife. Both of you will need to support each other to strengthen the relationship. Something that you can consider if you have space and money is to hire a helper. Previously when I had 2 kids, I did not employ one. Now that I have my 3rd kid, I employed one because it is just too much to handle, and honestly it is so much help around the house. Her contribution is just around the house (I look after my children myself) but it's so nice to come back to a clean and packed house, dishes all prepped up for me to cook, and dishes all done after cooking and eating. The amount of time I save is just unmeasurable, on top of that, my temper is less because I have more time on my hand. I hope you can work out a solution for your problem.

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Hi, I think your husband really needs to act wisely. He is proving to be a good son but he is neglecting his duties of a father and as a husband as well. I hope he too is not having the kindest of his parents and does not see girls in the same light as boys! If that is the case only time can make him understand his fault. I think you can make him see a counsellor or you both can see one and raise your issues. Since you have many quarrels and have tried to put your point forward, and it has not helped, you need to seek help. It can be counsellor or can be a close friend of his who can make him understand the situation and the fact that he is not performing his part as a father and husband.

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sorry to hear all this dear but i will not beat about the bush. such people don't deserve a nice treatment, and more than your in-laws, i have a problem with your husband who does not realize the importance of his children's safety and health and instead does something else. you have already spoken with him but he refuses to listen. your girls don't deserve this, they deserve much better and you are already providing them the love and care. move in with your parents if you can. get financially independent and get out of this marriage which is neither healthy for you nor for your kids.

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Sounds really challenging with no help from others and having to work and care for young children. Is your hub the only Son or child? Ur in laws are just like mine, traditional type. Must have a Son. Ur hub might also be sandwiched in between u and ur in laws. To them, little issue will become big big pblms. Scared of dying. Ur hub is filial but at the expense of own family. Is he open to talk about things? If yes, tell him that u r finding it v hard to cope with 2 young children and his help is v much needed. If all fails, get ur parents to help or tell him to engage a helper if he finds it hard.

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8y ago

parents out for checkup and insist on my husband doing that just because she need to save her leave for overseas vacations. To me that's just plain selfishness. We hired a helper before, ending up my mil bought her gift to gang her up again me. To save myself problems, I send her home after she threatened my girl or to give her food is she don't listen to her. Again, my husband choose to keep quiet and agreed with his Mother, it is me having high expectations.