How do you feel when you know you're pregnant for the first time?

i got my 1st baby after my 1st major operation. so i never feel happy at first, only nervous and terrified because im afraid of the complication from the previous operation. my 2nd was too. i moved to other states and its really depressing and got carried away. lost my 2nd baby because of the complication from my previous 2 operations. so i got my 3rd operation for the baby no.2 . currently im with my 3rd baby, with history of 3 major operations. when i knew im pregnant, i was not so happy. i cried, teriffied and scared. but then when i saw the baby move during check up, my heart flutter and feel happy. so what every moms have to do? be strong and be happy with the tiny little people in you tummy