Pay more cos earn more

After delivery of my baby, spouse been harping that i earn more and should pay for all or most of the expenses. I am very disappointed and feel there is no love left in this marriage. We quarrel so badly that between the 1st to 3rd month after delivery we talk abt divorcing more than 3 times to the extend he even went to a lawyer firm to chk procedures. I keep asking him to try out and drop the idea of divorce. Till the last time we talked abt divorce again which is around baby 3 mth i decided to give up and end the marriage but surprising he change his mind and say his heart dont allow him to. Slight improvement after that, but still feel the void and drifting away from each other. Now is like living together strangers. He said he does not want to stay in spore and want to migrate and only want to have baby after we migrate, due to age concern i persuaded and convince him to have 1 first here. So he expect that im prepared to bear all the expenses. He still have in mind migration and plan to leave by end feb. I dont understand how can a father and husband just leave without a care if he really love us. Baby love playing with him but when i think how selfish he is, i really still dont know how to make this marriage work. Is all that he is interested in is money and migration but not his family? He also request that i join him once he settle at the new country and hope i can fork out some money for him to go find a job there when he leave spore. Anyone can give me good advice?

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Sigh. I'm sorry to hear about this. I really feel you. The pain and sadness when husband as and when bring out the word divorce easily after having a child. But mine was a different case which wasn't totally about money. My thought for my current marriage was just to hang in there till I can't take it anymore and then will grant his wish. Because I felt that if my child constantly see that her parents been quarreling frequently, it will not be healthy for her growth. Children is our main priority. Happy family, happy babies. Pls take care and hang in there. Be strong.

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Super Mum

It seems to me that you and spouse have different plans and neither willing to give in. You wanted a child, he wanted to migrate and find a better job. So he might think that you have gotten your request, now is his turn? More communication needed without accusations, blaming and yelling (if any).


sorry to say that I feel he's very selfish. I will not support such guy tbh. if you can't stable here in sg why you think of migrating. you must have certain amount of savings before you can migrate. not relying on others.

don't give him any money save it for yourself and baby

Oh sorry to hear this mummy.