Hi mummy, just to share I was like u, also had a kaypoh nanny and dun really like her until when she is leaving, I also suddenly found myself to be emotional. Yes life goes on. Everything seems overwhelming after nanny left but now I'm into the 3rd week after nanny left, both me and husband are kind of used to the 'new' way of living with a baby. Husband support and help is also very important. As for the job, I am still on maternity leave and intend to quit (already want to leave and also plus the virus now) :)
Be strong mommy...Do talk to your family members, close friends and your spouse regarding your fears. As for your job make sure your company gives some form of compensation etc