Hi mummies, I need advice on a non breastfeeding issue. My father in law has been taking care of my daughter since I went back to work when she was 2 months old. Since then, baby has had problems latching on, tried for so long to get her to latch again but to no avail, so now I'm exclusively pumping. My father in law insists that fat babies are healthy babies and has been feeding her a lot since I went back to work, even when she cries and turns away, he will still force the bottle in her mouth. baby is > 97th percentile and the PD has asked us to limit her intake. Somehow, my father in law refuses to respect my husbands and my wishes when it comes to our baby. He insisted on feeding her water before she's 6 months old, wanted to give her solids before then also and he insists that we should give her the pacifier. I live with my in laws and I get very stressed out worrying if he is giving her water or solids, or not letting her sleep. It's so bad that I changed my job so I can be around more to take care of my baby. Every morning before I go to work, I will prepare her morning feed of 160ml (she was drinking 210ml previously) and go to work. Imagine my surprise when I was home and realized that he topped up the milk to 210ml again. And he does this for every feed till I come home. And if she wakes up 1.5 hours later, he will insist that she is hungry again. On weekends when I bring her home to my mother's she drinks 160 per feed and it will last her at least 3 hours. I know that he will never do anything to hurt her on purpose but I am getting very annoyed that he doesn't respect our decisions. How do I handle this ? Even when the PD tells him, he insists he knows better. Help. (Sorry for the long post)

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I was staying with my in-laws when I had my firstborn. My pils behave just the same as your fil. We have talked to them several times but to no avail. They insisted they are my pils and they can do whatever they want as it is their grandchildren. Eventually, we move out on our own but the issue never stop there and continue. Long story short, due to their selfishness my girl's health is affected. She has asthma due to them smoking in front of her and giving her food she is sensitive to. We brought her for allergic reaction test and got report to prove that. They still go ahead to do what "they know best" than PD. Ask yourself will you be able to forgive yourself when your child's wellbeing is affected? If you can't, I suggest you talk to him and tell him out front if he can't respect you as Mom you need to find alternative caretaker who respect your decision. I regret my decision to respect and maintain the so-called "relationship" and cause my girl to suffer for life. I will stand up for her if I can turn back my time. Also, if he can't respect you for the smallest thing like feeding. You can foreseen a bigger issues in the future. Trust me, if you get pushover once it is hard to get the right footing in the future anymore.

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