How to be a good mummy..

This gonna be a long post.. TIA for spending time to read.. Currently my no. 1 is 20mths old & no. 2 is 6 mths old. Last time my no. 1 is quite close to me but after i’m preg with no. 2 the time i carry him & play with him is lesser. His daddy will play with him more & my dad also help me to take care of him like bring him out.. Until I gave birth to no. 2 I also have to put more time on no. 2. And I started to feel my no. 1 is not close to me anymore.. so after we hired a helper, I’ve been trying to spent more time with him. But whenever he did something dangerous I will ended up scolding him. I always told myself to stay calm & talk to him nicely but sometime i just can’t control.. I feel that i’m the bad person to him. Whenever he is unhappy he won’t look for me, instead he go for my dad or my hubby. He is very sticky to my hubby & my dad esp my dad pampered him.. i feel that my hubby can take care of him well better than me.. also my helper is helping me to take care of my no. 2 & she carry her more than i do.. the only time I’ve more time is weekend & I will try to spent time with them.. on other hand i’ve to spent time pumping bm & i feel tired very easily sometime i need rest.. i’m worried next time my no. 2 also not close to me.. I feel that the house do not need me.. no matter how hard i try to get close to them i got pushed away or ignored. I feel like a failure & thinking 1 day my son will say he hate me.. what shld i do to become a good mummy to them..

Anonymous

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Hi mummy! I can totally feel what you’re going through. My no 1 was 13months old when I gave birth to my no 2. Same thing as well, he was so close to me and had to sleep with me every night. Then when I gave birth to my daughter, I was at hospital for 2 nights. He was finding it difficult to adjust without me around and can only fall asleep at 4am for an hour. It was a hard period because right after I come back, he was sticking to my husband. I knew that somehow he might have felt at one point that I wasn’t coming back and didn’t know what was going on. Right now he’s 2y9m and it took awhile but he has understands better now. At times he’ll go to my husband more than me. And I do feel a little sad but I just have to remind myself that they are still very small and really have no intentions to hurt us. Just remember that you are important in the eyes of your little one no matter what. I too feel very guilty because I’m working Mon-Fri. But whatever time I have with them, I’ll just love them both as much as I can. I’m currently expecting no 3 soon. Hopefully they are better. 🥰 You can do this! 💪🏻

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Anonymous

9mo ago

Thank you! But tbh, it’s a roller coaster at home. The house can be in a mess and everything is just rushed. I ask myself ever so often if I’m doing it right. There are many days I breakdown too. Things do get better ❤️

You need to take care of your own mental and physical health first. Go for breaks, go have some me time with your cliques. A break where you can let yourself be free and really rest and be a girl again, not a mom, not a wife. When everything falls on us at the same time, we won’t be able to make the right decisions with a clear mind, especially when we are so exhausted as well and that’s where emotions will take over us. You need a breather, away from work, baby and family. Whatever is it, do remember that you are a good mom. You are providing them, showering them with love. While you are a mom, don’t forget that you are just a normal human, it is okay to have emotions, just that we have to learn to control and overpower it. Jiayou! 💪🏻

Anonymous

9mo ago

Thank you for the advice.. i think i’ve to learn how to manage my emotions..

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