Setting boundaries for hospital visitors

Hi, ftm here. I’m due end june and most likely going to be doing a c-sec. Everyone has been super excited for the baby to come and talking about visiting at the hosp. Am i the asshole for not wanting any visitors, especially on the 1st day of birth because I want to be able to rest properly? Not sure how to bring it up to my in laws and parents that I don’t want them to visit at the hosp on the day baby arrives without offending them. They’ve all been talking about it like it’s a given thing. I get that they’re excited but I’m really worried I’ll be super overwhelmed if they’re all around fussing right after the surgery and I won’t be able to rest properly if there are visitors around even if it’s my own parents. My in laws and parents are both very traditional so it’s like a natural given to them that they will be at the hospital immediately after I give birth, but I’m really dreading it and I’m not sure what to do.

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It is completely understandable that you want to set boundaries for hospital visitors, especially on the first day of birth to have the opportunity to rest properly after your c-section. Your well-being and recovery are the top priority, and it's important for your family to understand and support your needs during this time. To communicate your wishes to your in-laws and parents without causing offense, you could consider the following approach: 1. **Honesty:** Be honest with your family about your concerns and the importance of rest and recovery after the delivery. Explain that you need some time to bond with the baby and get adequate rest before having visitors. 2. **Setting Expectations:** Clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations regarding visitors, especially on the first day. Let them know that you appreciate their excitement but that you need some space initially. 3. **Planning Ahead:** Consider discussing your preferences with your partner or a trusted family member who can help communicate your decision to other family members. Having someone else advocate for you can sometimes make the message easier to accept. 4. **Compromise:** If you are open to having visitors but prefer it to be at a different time, you could suggest a specific day or time frame for them to visit that would be more convenient for you. 5. **Express Gratitude:** Acknowledge their excitement and support, reassuring them that you value their presence but need some time for yourself immediately after the birth. Remember, your well-being and comfort are essential during this critical time, and setting boundaries is a healthy way to ensure you have the support you need to recover and bond with your baby. Communication is key in situations like this, and expressing your needs and concerns in a gentle manner can help avoid misunderstandings. If you are worried about expressing your concerns in person, you could consider writing a heartfelt letter or having a calm discussion with your partner present for support. Your family members should understand and respect your wishes for the well-being of both you and the baby. https://invl.io/cll6she

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hihi mommy to be.. nah, definitely not an a**. For my 3d2n stay, I decided no visitors at all. Even without visitors, u might not even rest properly due to the pain. In my case, last week, after birth was fine (for 6 hours) until the epidural wore off and the pain kicked in.. till today 3 days after my discharge, I still request no visitors. speak to ur hubby, he plays an important role in conveying messages to his parents. anw, in MAH, they have a 2 visitors policy, which includes ur hubby. so use that as a reason? jiayou!!! and wishing u a smooth delivery!

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Hello mommy! Definitely not an asshole for wanting to rest properly! Be it c sect or natural delivery, you need a proper rest & sleep to recover your body! I would suggest you to talk directly to your parents and your husband to talk to his that you need to rest on the first day and maybe they can come on the second or third day instead (based on how you would like to arrange). It is not easy to host visitors after delivering (because it will take a toll on your mental) so please prioritise your rest first over other things, and be direct!

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Easiest and fastest way is speak directly to each parents (your hubby to his parents, you talk to your own parents). Tell them your perspective, let them know you understand their eagerness to see baby and that you’ll arrange for them to see baby when you discharge, but you would like proper, undisrupted rest during your hospital stay. Sometimes, got to be direct with your no(s) else you’re just gonna end up giving in and then torturing yourself.

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make it known so that prospective visitors are aware. with section, the nurses will be coming in and out every hour to check BP, check drips, check wound, bring baby in, food, meds.. gyne coming to check.. already you won't be able to sleep well, you really don't need to entertain if you do not wish to. you have all the rights! let them know of alternatives, such as video call or visit after you feel comfortable. you be you mama!

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