Parents-in-law

Girl, you're not alone! We have so many similarities! 😆I'm in the third trimester now, also carrying a baby girl who will be the first grandchild in the fam, but PIL have NEVER once asked about me, my pregnancy, or offered any help, any tonic! Whereas my girlfriends all received such concern, even those who are not close to their in-laws. None stay with their in-laws. They were all shocked that I'm not receiving anything from mine. We may not be chummy, but my husband runs the most errands for his parents compared to his siblings. We are also the most guai. I've never been rude, always polite, always punctual. Husb and I eat with his parents the most, compared to his siblings. So I'm really surprised and upset at their lack of concern, esp when they have been hinting strongly for a grandchild. My own parents also didn't give me anything, but at least they have never pressured/hinted us to have a kid. And at least they verbally tell us to take good care, be careful etc. My in-laws won't even say that, haha! Oh and my birthday coincided with their family dinner (not a celebration for me, they don't care about my bday ever), but PIL didn't even say happy birthday to me or ask about baby or the pregnancy. I was crying inside then tbh, it was hurtful. It's like finally giving them what they've asked for, but strangely, cruelly being treated as invisible. I just really hope they won't insisting on doing things their way (e.g insist on full month celeb, fixed visiting schedule, certain traditions etc.) once baby is born, since they have chosen to be uninvolved and unconcerned. Pluck up the courage to talk to my husband about this but he dismissed it. Which only made me feel even worse haha. This total lack of concern and support from family during pregnancy def made me cry alone at home more than once. But yay I got to rant here anonymously aft discovering your post! Feels slightly better now! ♡ I hope you will find comfort in my very similar situation! :") And all the best for your pregnancy!

Hey mummy! Don’t overthink. If you must; try to think positively, every family is different, hence don’t compare. Most people complain that their in-law is always meddling into their life; you are lucky that your in law respect your privacy and independent not to intervene. Love is not showcase by just material thing; I think showing respect of allowing young family to manage their life is a higher level affection. Stay happy no matter what, be positive no matter what; it is all in your mind. A happy mana, a healthy baby. Stay safe and God bless you!

you are not alone dear! I encourage u to focus on your self love and care and love for your baby and husband. My MIL did not say a word abt my pregnancy, and both me and my husband don't care or pay attention to her, we only focus on our own happiness and ignore those who are not happy for us. As we age, we become more wise and we leave the problematic ones to their own place. Go and find your happy people and be with them! Enjoy your pregnancy and don't worry so much abt things that u cannot control. peace and good vibes always

Hi, sorry to hear this. Sometimes I feel this way too. Uninvolved PIL. I reckon that no matter what your own family will care for you more. Sometimes we hope to have something, but ended up realising that that makes us unhappy and disappointed. I had a miscarriage, they did nothing too. Not even any off the shelf tonic. It was my mother who took care of me. Please take care of yourself. Think of positive things that make you happy.

Don't be disheartened. My parents-in-law didn't get a single tonic for me too. I felt a little disappointed at first too but I realized my parents-in-law grew up with nothing also and their last pregnancy was like 30 years ago. They may forget what is it like. As long as you have your doting husband, that's the what important! Share your feelings with your husband and see how both of you can support each other.

You are not alone. Stay strong! My mil didnt get my anything throughout my pregnancy also yet keep telling me this cannot do that cannot eat. She has been very toxic to my marriage. I recently found out she kept complaining bout me to my husband and ask him scold me during my confinement. Really thank god i didnt get depression. And yes, strongly that it is good that your mil didnt not meddle with your life. 💪

Don’t worry ! you are not alone. My in-laws treat me like that too because I have a baby girl. When my girl is born, they didn’t visit as well and my mother was so angry so she confronted them and they just came to visit for the sake of visiting and that’s it. So I told my hubby since they are not interested in my baby, I will not let them meet my baby anymore. Surprisingly my hubby agreed.

Well, i am in the same situation as you. They dun care and even have ask us to look for alternative childcare for my kid. By the way, in the 1st place, we did not ask them to look after our kid. However, when they heard that my mum is helping to look after our kid, she quickly said, if we really got no one to help to look after, she may consider to help. lol. so wayang.

Don’t be upset. I had same feeling when mil also never care abt my son (her grandchild) and my second pregnant now. At first I thought because I am foreigner then she never respect me. Finally I am ok because we are not stay same house and she is old ( more than 60 years) so I am not looking forward anything from her. She just care abt her daughter and their family only.

I don't have any either and now it's my 3rd pregnancy. I had the same feeling why didn't my MIL gave any tonic and was upset for awhile (not as if I'm desperate for it, but I'm her DIL, does she not care/bother?). Don't expect anything and you won't feel or be bothered about it after awhile. Totally agree with be glad that MIL is not meddling with your life.