ParentsInLaw | theAsianparent

#ParentsInLaw

Just feeling bit weird when I hear own sister, my girl friends and female colleagues sharing that how their PIL especially MIL will cook or got them some tonic foods or taking good care of them (even not staying together) when they were pregnant. I am currently going 21 weeks preg but till today my in-law didn’t get anything for me. Even when my family asked, they found disappointed why is my in-law behaving so. As if I mean nothing to my in-law family. My FIL is those listen to wife with no much of opinion and my MIL is usually e calling e shots type and don’t cook at home (I never seen her cook at all). I felt that she’s more into her son and DIL is just someone else in e family. As before our wedding I get to know she bought some tonic drinks for my hubby and gave him a angpao which I doesn’t have either. My hubby is quite protective towards his mum and he felt that they are modern family (somehow angmo style la) so all these are not important. Which I can never talk to him about these or say about his family otherwise we would ended up quarrelling. I do feel emo and angry whenever I thought of this. Which really also feeling disappointed. Hope they are behaving like this not because I’m carrying a baby girl 👧🏻 (my MIL wanted a grandson during reveal party). But my baby is their first and is their grandchild no matter what! 😭 (Update - 28 October 2022) Truth is, my MIL really can’t be bothered and only cares for her son. She told my hubby to get a helper if we can’t cope ourselves weeks before I delivered my girl (we didn’t even asked her to help lol). Then she refused to visit us after our girl born and even late for my girl 1 year old birthday party. She got NOTHING but at least a $50 angpao shared with my FIL for her very first grandchild just FYI. No gold or whatever if we’re talking about Chinese tradition. I’m not eyeing for anything from her, just feeling why I will such MIL treating me and my daughter like a known strangers. So cold hearted. 😣 #ParentsInLaw

Girl, you're not alone! We have so many similarities! 😆I'm in the third trimester now, also carrying a baby girl who will be the first grandchild in the fam, but PIL have NEVER once asked about me, my pregnancy, or offered any help, any tonic! Whereas my girlfriends all received such concern, even those who are not close to their in-laws. None stay with their in-laws. They were all shocked that I'm not receiving anything from mine. We may not be chummy, but my husband runs the most errands for his parents compared to his siblings. We are also the most guai. I've never been rude, always polite, always punctual. Husb and I eat with his parents the most, compared to his siblings. So I'm really surprised and upset at their lack of concern, esp when they have been hinting strongly for a grandchild. My own parents also didn't give me anything, but at least they have never pressured/hinted us to have a kid. And at least they verbally tell us to take good care, be careful etc. My in-laws won't even say that, haha! Oh and my birthday coincided with their family dinner (not a celebration for me, they don't care about my bday ever), but PIL didn't even say happy birthday to me or ask about baby or the pregnancy. I was crying inside then tbh, it was hurtful. It's like finally giving them what they've asked for, but strangely, cruelly being treated as invisible. I just really hope they won't insisting on doing things their way (e.g insist on full month celeb, fixed visiting schedule, certain traditions etc.) once baby is born, since they have chosen to be uninvolved and unconcerned. Pluck up the courage to talk to my husband about this but he dismissed it. Which only made me feel even worse haha. This total lack of concern and support from family during pregnancy def made me cry alone at home more than once. But yay I got to rant here anonymously aft discovering your post! Feels slightly better now! ♡ I hope you will find comfort in my very similar situation! :") And all the best for your pregnancy!

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