Is it too much to ask for you to do?

Ever since you decided to flirt with another girl because “I was not giving you the attention you need”, you ruined me. What seemed innocent to you was like end of the world for me. As a mother, it was inevitable to take care of OUR kids. I did not know you would be that needy to succumb to flirting with another girl—our mutual friend. It hurt deep, my heart was crushed into a million pieces. Until now, it is hard to cope. And a year had passed since I discovered your “innocent, friendly chats” with her, I cannot forget and will not forget more so when you did not do anything to make me feel better because to you, nothing was wrong with what you did. And to add more salt to the wound, you travelled with her for a week for business. Imagine how devastating that was for me but I held on because you said you would not do anything to ruin the business. Yes, you’d rather keep the business running than fix us. If it weren’t for the love I have for you, I wouldn’t have stayed. I don’t believe in staying together for the kids. I stayed because I love you. And it hurts when I keep on reaching out to you for intimacy, affection, or just a hug, there were no genuine feelings from you. What have become of us? Just because of your neediness for affection from me when I was taking care of our kids? I really don’t understand. You never said sorry. But when I was at fault and I said sorry for my shortcomings with the business, what did you say? “Palagi naman e.” But the one time I needed to hear sorry from you, what did you say? “I’ve had enough of you and your crying “. What an a*hole. I have called you names when stupid marriage articles said don’t say anything that you’ll regret. I did regret it because it didn’t help fix us. But it felt so good. I called you: malandi, ki-at, igat and the latest, a nagger, a lame husband. I said expletives at you out of frustration, disappointment, hurt. I don’t do that but you led me to do it. But what was the simplest thing I asked of you that will help me cope with our issue? Affection. A genuine hug, a kiss everytime you go out to work, to gym, to whatever I let you go to because you’ve got be set free, right? I am clingy, i am the jealous-type. In the years of being together, I learned to let go. To trust you. But when you flirted with someone else, it was hard to trust you again though nowadays, i’m trying. I don’t know what to do. My days are filled with work and kids. But I also give the attention you need and deserve. Marriage is about giving right? I am very confused with what to do with us because maybe in the end, there would not be. All I needed was love and affection. I did not know I had to work hard for it from you when I didn’t give you enough back then and which led you to get attention from someone else—not once but twice. Those women were intelligent enough not to be fooled by your over-friendliness, or were they? You’re cute and charming. You marvel at how the gay and straight admire you. Are you that of an attention-seeker? Were you deprived of that when you were a child? Wasn’t or Aren’t I enough? Your wife? Still, I hold on. I just want a genuine hug, a genuine kiss. Is it too much to ask from you? “Good night, sweet dreams” (You never told me that, maybe when we were gf-bf then but now? Nada. How easy it was to end your nightly chats with her with this and all the pakyut and pa-charmus effects ?) My advice to all of you women: happy wife, happy life is a lie. It’s more of a happy husband, happy life. Make him happy, don’t lead him to be needy because he will justify his neediness with someone else. Just pray na hindi sakyan yung mga pakyut nya ng babae.

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I feel you sis. Nalulungkot ako sa sitwasyon mo. May hangganan ang lahat ng bagay, ang pasensya, ang pagtitiis. Choice mo kung gusto mo mag-stay o mag-let go. Minsan kailangan mong mag-let go kahit mahal mo ang isang tao. Lalo at kung sa iba na siya masaya. Wag mong intindihin yung "mutual friend" niyo, dahil hindi siya naging kaibigan sayo. Hindi siya ang problema mo, kundi ang asawa mo. Marami kang pwedeng pagpilian, kung kasal kayo at may pruweba ka. May laban ka dahil ikaw ang asawa (kung kasal nga kayo). Minsan kailangan mo ring isipin kung ano ang makakabuti sayo, lalo at sa mga anak mo. Ako kasi, naging promise ko sa sarili ko na kahit kailan hinding hindi ko ipipilit ang sarili ko sa kahit kanino. Dumadaan ang oras, lumilipas ang panahon. Wag mong sayangin. Alam kong mahal mo, pero... hanggang kailan mo hahayaan na itrato ka ng ganyan? Self respect and know your worth. Wag mong itake for granted ang sarili mo, ganun na nga ang ginagawa niya sayo, ganun ka pa rin ba sa sarili mo. May anak akong babae, at hindi ko iaadvise sa kanyang "magstay" kung gaganyanin lang siya ng asawa niya, iuuwi ko siya samin at hindi na siya mahahawakan uli nung asawa niya, sustento na lang sa mga bata ang importante. Ikaw ang may responsibilidad sa sarili mo, wag mong iasa ang kaligayahan mo sa kanya. Obviously naman hindi na siya masaya sayo, at ganun ka din naman sa kanya. Nasasaktan ka lang, sinisira mo lang ang sarili mo. Magpakatatag ka, manalangin at humingi ng gabay kay Lord. Wag kang manghinayang sa ganyang klase ng lalaki. Alagaan mo ang sarili mo. Nandito lang kami para sayo. Godbless..

Magbasa pa

I am new mom, my baby was 3 weeks old now. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Five days after I gave birth he flew away--going to abroad to work in a cruise ship. The day before he leaves I was crying so hard. I don't want him to go, but he needs to. It so hard because we all know that when the ship is underway there is no signal and you can't communicate to each other. I am that kind of woman that easily get jealous, but I need to change I need to trust him I need to believe on him and show him that I am strong enough to take care of our child while he is away. I know there's a lot af temptation there but still I need to trust him, I know he loves me and will not do anything to ruin our relationship, our new family. I know you can cope up with your current situation, I know you are a strong independent woman. You need to be strong for your children. I may not be on your shoe but I feel you. I pray that someday everything will be fine. Pray to God and He will not disappoint you.

Magbasa pa
4y ago

my husband is also in a cruise ship but we communicate everyday, during his break time and after work signal is never problem to us..

Para saakin lang ha, I'll choose to leave bago pa ikaw yung maubusan. I mean huwag mong antayin na wala ng matira sayo. Been there. Siguro taon din ako nagtiis. Walang pang gatas yung baby namin pero may pang check-in sya. Dumating yung time na, ayoko na. Ayoko nang bungangaan sya, ayoko ng away, emotionally drained. Doon sa pag stop ko sa lahat, doon nya pa narealized na mali na sya. Minsan kasi kelangan muna ng "space" hayaan mo sya kung saan sya masaya. Habang nasa malayo kayo, pagdasal mo na din, wala naman sya na hindi binibigay 🙏👆 Mahirap pag emotionally drained ka na. Basta pag isipan mo ng mabuti. Kausapin mo ng masinsinan muna if possible. God bless you.

Magbasa pa
VIP Member

My partner is not perfect either. He made wrong choices but I can see that he is learning from them and he tries his best not to do them anymore. My patience is stretched way too much kilometric longer and I think that's the best gift God has given us, women. We were hurt but then we forgive. Men will always wrong us, I don't believe that there's someone out there who won't. What you have, you cherish and take good care of. At the end of the day if you can still find yourself the reason why you're still in that relationship - that's the only thing that can fix everything.

Magbasa pa

I know saying this will push back everything that feminists have been working on, but here it goes: never say no to your husband. Mysoginistic, i know. But it’s true. Bulk of the responsibility of keeping the family together is on us women. It’s not society, it’s biological. Men are simply not built to multi-task. They do not know how to compartmentalize feelings, responsibilities, etc. They have a checklist of needs and whatever comes up, thats what they strive for.

Magbasa pa
4y ago

Mysoginistic, indeed. Now more than ever we must fight back against this systemic problem. Wag natin basta basta tanggapin nalang mga bagay bagay :) Never say no to your husband is bullshit

Pray and pray hard for your Marriage. Learn to let go and let God deal with it. Just enjoy the moment of what you have right now. Keep on growing and living for the Lord. Theres a season for everything. In perfect time, everything will be beautiful. Praying for you to get through with your situation. Still there is hope for the future. God bless you!😇

Magbasa pa
VIP Member

casual friends/acquaintance, ok lang.. pero bffs w/ bonding moments? A big No. 😅

I feel sorry for you😔😔😔. I will pray for you and your husband.

VIP Member

GO GIRL!! Please be courageous

Stay strong momshieee