24 Replies
it's my first pregnancy, i've only went to 2 appointments so far. my husband is not able to accompany as he's currently overseas for work. my 1st appt was very confusing and scary coz everything was new to me & the baby was still very small (literally a yolk sac). they had to use vaginal scanning to have a clearer view of it. the whole procedure was me just going ??? and i got nervous when they all looked so concerned and asked me alot of questions. my 2nd appt i was scared on my way there, had so many negative thoughts but i teared so bad when i finally saw how the baby grew so much, i felt sooo relieved. i agree with you, it is stressful especially when you're doing it alone. as for my husband, he feels very guilty for being absent and he does cry about it sometimes. i feel like it's good to share your progress w ur husband as it not only helps u mentally but it'll also help ur husband feel involved, especially if it's the first time for the both of you ✨ it's his baby too. all the best independent mama!
For both my children, hubby went with me for every appt from 1st to last tri. It's like an unspoken agreement between us that anything to do with baby, both shld be present. Similarly, gg for baby's doctor appts aft birth too. I guess it depends on your relationship with ur hubby, that is if he's very involved with household matters or not. You might want to just inform him when are ur appts and leave it to him if he wants to come if u don't really need him to be there. But personally for me, I'd rather have my husband ard so that he's aware of how baby is growing. It also seems to give him that sense of closeness and responsibility twds the baby and perhaps hype him up a lil for the arrival of baby. I've read an article abt hw husband often feels left out when it comes to pregnancy and aft baby is born as they don't get to experience the intimacy of being with baby unlike the mom who carries baby all the way from 1st tri to breastfeeding aft birth.
i've been gg to the appointments alone since my first baby and currently pregnant w second. he only joins if he's able to get leave and usually once or twice during scans. initially during my first pregnancy when i see husbands ard, i'd feel sad but aft a while i realised it's better to go alone 😂😂 some husbands just be there and don't even give up their seats for those who are actually there for their appt - in this case i'm referring to pregnant mothers. you can let him know that it's better if you go alone as there is nth he can do there (let's be real ok unless you have a toddler to take care of then it's a diff case.....) just assure him that you'll update him in every appointment for growth of baby - you may even suggest that he follows you only for scans as it's not gonna be frequent. personally i don't see a need for me to have my hubby ard during consultation or just checking fetal heartbeat.
Hi mummy, I’m currently 8 months pregnant and my husband attends all appointments together with me. He did not miss a single one as he wants to be actively involved. At the same time, I personally feel that he should attend together as well because he needs to fully understand what I am going through, how much it takes for a woman to be a mother so that he will treasure you and value you. After giving birth, he will continue to be actively involved in taking care of the child as you have “trained” him. Meanwhile, it is also part of communication and education, the baby can feel it. The baby can feel how much you and your husband love him/her and they will grow up very well. So do give him the opportunity to be involved as much as possible.
hubby comes with me every appointment. ftm here expecting in June this year. we go for appointment together, plan the things we want to ask the doctor, make informed decisions together. NIPT and fetal scans are stressful on their own. With him around, I feel like I don't have to relay information like those between the doctor and him and that's tremendously helpful. I think it improves understanding between us. fortunate to have that. But some mothers said that it's not practical for their partners because of work or location. I think being on the same page about expectations and involvement is the most important thing. imo do what's best for the 2 of you. there's no real correct formula
So far yes, hubby is with me for all the appts up till now.. we didn’t specifically talk about at the start whether he should accompany for all the visits, it just naturally happened this way. On days where it clashes with his work he will ask if I can reschedule to another time/ day where he can join. I guess what matters is he’s at least in the know of the appts/progress — can’t make physically also nvm for me. For milestone checks I do get nervous/stressed too, but having company always helps mentally (at least for me) cos men usually be the one v grounded and level headed, reminding us not to panic even tho they may be panicking inside they wouldn’t show.
Hi mummy. My husband does not folllow me to all my appointments. As I work shift and he works 9-5. It is easier for me to go on my own and set my own appointment dates. He usually have to take leave and follows only during major check ups like full scanning or blood tests. Even if I went alone, I do let him know the appointment dates and he will follow up and ask about it. I think it’s better to share your stress with each other. Just let him know your appointment dates so he can follow up even if he didn’t accompany you. The pregnancy journey is for two. So share and enjoy the burden or the joy together.
Hi mummy, my husband follows me to almost all appts except for one. I was adamant he didn't need to follow so that he can save up on his leaves, but he was adamant that he wanted to see baby on each visit. I'm sure your husband is that way as well. Attend each appt with an open heart instead of a worried one. Have faith that baby is doing well, and even if baby isn't, doctor is there to help and hubby is there to comfort you. So don't worry mummy! All the best 😘
Maybe it's to each their own depending on your relationship dynamic? for me I wouldn't be able to imagine my husband not coming to an appointment- it's like it won't even occur to him. Of course it's also as long as I want him there, but to him the first thought is that we're in this together. obviously if you're not comfortable then totally up to you - most imp is you're not stressed. but communication is key leh in a relationship. just explain and keep it open.
I went for 2 appointments by myself. I told my husband to keep his leaves for when the baby is bigger and can see more stuff during the scan… (and also when the baby is born) since I had to wait for some time before the appointment AND the appt itself only lasted for 5 mins… I’m also worried/stressed out some times… but yes I try to be independent too! Jiayou