Confinement at own mom’s or MIL’s?

Currently planning on confinement. My mom is a working mom whereas my MIL is a housewife. My MIL’s house is extremely clean, neat and tidy whereas my house is normal, sometimes can get messy. Thing is over at my MIL’s if I do my confinement there, there is a single bed for me and my hubby will sleep on the mattress on the floor. And honestly I am not that comfortable staying with my in-laws (also a lot of pantang) as compared to my mom’s. Both moms can help to cook confinement food for me. My MIL also mentioned that she can help to look after the baby (take turns). It’s just that I feel restricted there. Whereas my mom is a working mom, I can’t expect much from her but I’ll be more comfortable at my mom’s. My hubby wants me to confine at his mom’s (more freedom for him in a way) but for me, I know I’ll not be very comfortable. Help.

Anonymous

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VIP Member

JTS my own experience, I had my first confinement at my parents home and I found it a very trying period of time. Doesn't mean that just because it is own parents you'll feel that comfortable either. Your spouse and baby will be there too which can cause friction when you are trying to find your bearings as a new parent. My second time, i decided to hire a confinement nanny and do confinement at my own home instead of shifting the entire family out of a familiar environment.

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Marie Seah

Working mum of 2

5y ago

Almost 3k at the time. If it is during CNY it would be higher.

VIP Member

I would prefer own mom’s. Your mom knows the best :) Less frustrations / comments haha. & More comfortable. She can prepare baby’s bathtub / washing bottles / or milk pump etc in advance or after work. Depends your mom working shift or office hour. Why not can ask your hubby to sleep over to help especially night time. He can help during e weekends too. Does Your mil able to help during night feeds? Or help to carry baby to you? For straight 28days/30days.

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Rae

Queen of 1 adventurous magician

5y ago

How’s sil feedback? Don’t worry so much. You can communicate with your mom about house cleaning. Voice out to her. I’m sure when baby arrive your mom will auto to clean the house as much as she can. Every house hold definitely have some flaws. My mom’s house is full of stuffs haha. But most importantly is hygiene towards baby and mummy have a comfort stay. Baby will always on cot sleeping for 1st-2nd months in the room. You also need to bed rest as much as possible. Maybe if you free tidy then room as much as you can before baby arrival. Yes own bed is definitely more comfy. Especially breastfeeding, trust me :) I know some mil is very OCD. If you forgetful n replace somewhere, she may give comments. After birth, you will feel more sensitive about most of the things. :)

VIP Member

I think you have to choose the one whom you are most comfortable with. I guess that’s your mom’s house. You will have a lot on your plate after you give birth e.g. hormonal changes, pain, recovery and lack of sleep. It will be hard on you if you still have to feel restricted at your in laws’ place. While your husband may not feel as comfortable, your physical and emotional well being are more important.

I think if you can afford, you should do confinement at your own home. Best and neutral place and at your own comfort. Emotions run high after birth so may be easier to manage to do it at own home :) less politics and emotions to deal with and u can focus on ur baby and recovery.

Everyone prefers own mum more than mil, haha. In your situation, if you generally have good relationship with the inlaws maybe can try your confinement there? Reason being, like you said, your mum is a working mum. She might not be able to care for you or baby 24/7.

TapFluencer

same for me... my mom working mom vs my mil housewife... my mom strict vs my mil easygoing... my mom home with 4 flights of steps vs my mil one level home... i still chose to stay with my own mom during both confinements 😁

VIP Member

I feel its better to do confinement with own mom. Someone you're familiar and comfortable with. In any case of diff perception towards taking care of the baby, it's less awkward also

I do it at home and my mum will help as i am comfortable with my mum than my mil

Of course best to do at mum’s house cos she will never judge you for anything.

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