My wife and I agreed that we weren't ready to have kids, but she went off birth control without telling me and now she's pregnant. I feel so angry and betrayed right now. I have thought about leaving her, but the thought of leaving a pregnant woman just doesn't sit well with me. But I don't know how I can trust her again, let alone raise a kid with her. What now?

The first thing to do would be to talk to your wife about it. Ask her why she went off birth control, and try and figure out how you can deal with the responsibility of having a child. You might feel angry and betrayed right now, and that's completely understandable as if I were in your situation, I'd feel the same. However, you shouldn't let those feelings cloud your judgment. Take it one day at a time and plan for your wife's pregnancy. The important thing would be to focus on the child first. You shouldn't leave your wife, let alone leave the child without a father. Talk to a marriage counselor as well as other people about your situation, and don't act rashly.

I'm sure you can find ways to fix this kind of things but first of all, while it's really disheartening that your wife sneakingly went off birth control, I think it's not enough reason to leave her. Yes, she may have betrayed you in a way but personally, if you really love someone, you'll find ways to fix things and not resort immediately to separation. Talking it down may not stop her from bearing her child who happens to be your child too, but it may possibly set things straight. Babies are blessing no matter how hard it is to raise one. You can consult marriage counselors if you want. Hoping you can decide clearly on what you think what's best for your family.

I would hope that you two can talk about it and resolve things -- agree with Albert and ask her the deeper reason why she did that. If it's something you can live with, then the best thing is really for you two to stay together for your child. If you can't ever forgive her or trust her again though, I don't think there's anything wrong with raising the child separately. It's best for a child to have a mom and dad but it's really not if mom and dad are always fighting and the home is unhappy. Good luck.

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