what to do when kid and work are the only priorities of your husband?

Hi dear, what you’re describing must be very stressful for you. You might feel burnt out, or unloved or unappreciated. Maybe you can consider... 1. What are your priorities? 2. How does your husband feel about your priorities? 3. Does your husband feel that you are neglecting him/not showing him respect? 4. What are the most commonly used phrases that you say to your husband? Are those phrases possibly hurting him? For my case, my husband doesn’t react well to me breaking down or being angry/aggressive. He doesn’t reply at that point in time either. He’ll shut himself in his box of comfort. At first, it made me even more frustrated.. but I’m so glad he later told me that he doesn’t feel it’s right to engage with someone who’s broken down, because nothing gets across in the right way. From there, I’ve also been humbled and learnt how to communicate better. All of us have different priorities, agendas and needs. I’ve come to see that if I put aside my own wants just for a minute, and look at my husband and children’s needs and wants, it’s a lot more straightforward to understand them, fulfill their needs, and then after that, communicate my needs and be heard. I was actually heartened to read that your husband has your kid as one of his priorities. Not every father has that. And since he’s working, he must also have work stress and troubles. When he gets home, I guess he wants to focus on relaxing and being happy. Of course, as your husband, he needs to play his part and care for you. As the wife, you need to give him space, respect and affirmation/encouragement. Having experienced both being a working parent and stay at home parent, I know both are equally stressful and tiring. Everyone needs a break and some me time. We also need lots of encouragement, because we probably receive enough criticism from all over. So I hope that you and your husband can create an environment for yourselves to be able to share your own feelings openly, without judgement or blame. Give more love than you can take, and you may be surprised that your husband may reciprocate more than you expect too. Very importantly, I’ve learnt that my relationship with my husband is the most important thing to show my children what it means to love and feel secure. So we hug in front of the kids, and we say “I love you”. For what it’s worth, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for sacrificing so much for your family ❤️. I hope you and your husband see how much effort each of you are putting in to support the family, and that you’ll aim to bring out the best in each other and support each other 😊

Normal. After our baby was born, my wife 95 to 99% attention given to baby. Normal lah, which loving parent doesn't care for their baby or kid? I would say, you have to change your mind set, having a baby in the house Is different from dating times or the times without baby. We need to grow up and not expect coaxing that much, coaxing should be reserved for your baby! ☺️

Have a nice talk to your husband. Communication is the key. Let him know that you’re important too.