14 Replies
I have been trying to conceive since 10 and a half years back. I'm now in my late 30s. I've tried means and ways to get pregnant. Western ways: 7 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1 embryo transfer. Eastern way: Traditional Chinese Medicine for many years and Acupuncture. Still no pregnancy at all. Imagine the hardship someone like me has to go through and yet I see my AF (aunt flow) appear every month. It's not easy. In the first few years of marriage, people ask why I am not trying. After a few years of marriage, people ask why I don't want or suggest that I see a doctor. These few years, they stopped asking about it at all. I appreciated that. I guess best is not to say anything at all, unless they broach the topic to you.
If they do talk abt it or happens in normal sharing then maybe u can recommend a tcm specialist (I went to the famous one at Clementi there). Otherwise maybe want to consider adopt? My aunt n uncle also wait till v late then decided to try for kids and while family was not v supportive as we felt they were getting on in years. They tried everything and spent a lot of money time n effor, eventually adopted a newborn, now the girl in p2 alrdy. Having kids can also mean adopting. Now everyone is happy :)
The best is not to say anything unless they themselves touch on the topic or ask for your opinion. If it is me I won't like it when people busybody and act as if they know everything by telling me don't worry keep trying or maybe you should go see this doc that doc. We are not in their situation and don't know what they have gone thru or going thru so we should not give our two cents worth just because we feel we should. Silence is golden sometimes
I'm afraid time is not on their side and chances are slim. It is still possible for them to conceive though. If you are afraid that feelings will get hurt, sometimes it is best to not say anything. You could get them to try out this potion of dates and honey. Apparently it helps to boost fertility, though results may vary. http://mummiesvoices.com/2015/12/08/sharing-the-baby-making-magic-potion/
I had a friend who has been married for 10 years and still no kids of their own even though they have been trying. According to her, it's best not to even bring the topic up because it hurts. The words that you say to the couple lingers longer that you think and my friend often broke down few hours after whoever who asked "when's your turn".
If the couple do not mention anything about their intention to try for baby, it is best for you not to mention at all. Unless the couple is opened and bring it out first, you can share some of the tips to get pregnant, e.g. advise them to seek fertility specialist's help.
No best words actually just listen😚 i went through it, its not hurtful when u ask sincerely! In fact, i felt touch that someone care to ask sincerely... And when u ask, listen for and look for signs of whether they are comfortable talking abt it or not.. 😎
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Nothing is impossible. My ex colleague tried for 10yrs and finally someone recommended her the indonesian urut. 2x a wk if im not wrong, pregnant on the 6th mth and had to bed rest till sje delivered.
I'm praying for you! God is in control & when it's meant to happen, it will.
Jinhui Fu Jacinthia