What will u do if ur husband treats u different at home vs when with colleagues or family members? E.g. when it's just us, he's always rude to me, raising voice, silent treatment when he's unhappy with something. When we are with his colleagues or his family members, he treats me differently. Can joke, nice, not rude etc. sometimes I wìshed we are just friends/colleagues rather than spouses. I used to whine to him when I'm unhappy but he gets unhappy and shut me off. So I stopped sharing unhappy stuff anymore n kept inside me. now he's like this. I don't know what else can I do anymore. I'm at my end. there was once I casually shared that 'wow xx married for 10yrs and they did a ceremony to renew their marriage vows '. he gave a sarcastics sneer and laughed it off. There was also once after he gave me silent treatment we had cold war. I initiated a talk by asking how was his department lunch buffet, he jus replied me in one word. was it nice?("normal") worth the price to go?("ok") who went (Cus I know all his colleagues as we r quite close too )("wah" followed by a frustrated sigh). I immediately told him "fine, then I won't talk anymore". and another cold war restarted. Home is like a landmine. If we (including my 2 sons-3&1) step on his tail, made a small mistake (if any) or simply did someone thst made him unhappy, that's it. The whole family aura changes. I'm so tired already. It's been going on n on n on. Whenever he made a mistake he doesn't apologise. Whenever I mentioned something that indirectly saying it's his fault (when indeed it is) he gets extremely defensive and his silent treatments, rudeness, bad temper all come out.kick bang the door etc. I'm always the first one who talks, who apologise when it's not even my fault. he verbal abuses my elder son too. shouting at the top of his lungs at him when he's naughty. nudged him very hard. criticised him as loser idiot. chase him out tell him get lost. when he's obedient he treats him nice. I'm so tired. I regret marrying him. If not for my children, I would have left. What should I do? sorry if I can't reply much because I choose to be anonymous as there are many people I know are on this group. Thanks.. appreciate your advice...thanks...

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There seem to have thorns in your relationship. Must find a way to get rid of the roots for these thorns in order to make your relationship better. What does he like to do? His hobby? How about taking a liking to his interest? In my case, my hubby loves photography but I used to hate this hobby of his because he spent time away from the kids, spent hours editing the photos, etc. I felt we're being ignored. But when I decided to give it a chance to demonstrate some liking in his hobby, he was so happy (like I'm supporting his hobby) and his attitude towards me and the kids changes alot! When we want to talk about other matters, it was also more easily for me to broach.

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7y ago

Thanks for ur reply. His hobby? His hobby is sleeping. Well. He likes to sleep and he needs to sleep. If he doesn't, all hell breaks loose. How to sleep all u want when u have 2 kids? My elder just woke up crying cus he wet his bed. And he shouted at him. Banged the door etc. Waking the younger one up. I had to sooth the younger one back while talking to the elder one. And guess what, he just continued to stomp into the room. I called for him to change the elder one cus I can't as I was feeding the younger one. He stomped out & shouted at my elder on to shut up.

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How was he like before u married and after u married before u had kids??

7y ago

He was never rude. Never shouted never ignored me.