What to do if ur husband doesnt help out with taking care if kids ? Does not give any money to buy kids grocery and school fee. Once in awhile will help to vacumme the floor only .. but gives the impression to his parents that he has taking care and helping out and paying for everything and kids . He will only help to carry her sometimes in public becus people around are watching . Basically behind closed door he doesnt care and oy wants to watch tv when he is at home and ignoring everything . Sometimes when we are out he will say in a playful manner and expects me to pay . At night , ive to fork out money to buy dinner for all of us as he comes home late . He does pay for the house sp power and wifi . Each month less than $300 in total and the rest he spend on himself and takes grab everyday thru and forth to work and doesnt wants to give me any allowance. How do i deal with this ?

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Super Mum

Hey mama. You must be really stressed out with the current situation. Try having a good sit down conversation? This is easier said than done I realise but if he avoids it repeatedly the have someone who can be neutral mitigate the situation. Sometimes having a counsellor helps. If he runs away because he’s afraid or doesn’t think it’ll make things better, then it’s probably best you start weighing out the pros and cons of staying. He may want different things from you as people change but it’s not fair to keep you in the dark about it either.

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2y ago

want different things from me such as ? yes agree..

He has to know his responsibilities and realise you need him more than just paying the bills. If talking doesn't fit his cup of tea, write a heartfelt letter or give him articles of marriage advices. You can insist on teamwork, since that's what you both signed up for in the beginning. I wish you both the best!

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Can ask to open joint account. Each month put eg. 30 percent of salary each. All household spendings including grocery, meals and kids school fees only use that account. Personal spending eg grab to work use own money.

Hi, I think the best way here is to have an open hearted conversation with your husband on this so that both of you can express what are you feeling and what are the issues and hopefully come to some solutions

VIP Member

possible to work out an expense sheet to show him how much is needed vs how much he contributes to put things in perspective? he is quite oblivious...

That is so sad to hear. Have u ever open talk to him? U should say in a playful manner to him too, and ask for some allowance for u and your kids.

Super Mum

Only way is to have open communications. Talk about it and iron it out. Onus is on each of you to speak and listen maturely with love.

Hang in there mummy!!