Rant on Husband do not want to help out in raising kids , advice pls .

Hi , my child is 20 months now . Husband pays for bills. And is less than $150 total every month . As we're staying in a hdb rental . He helps to pay for groceries on some item that he allows to buy . So for child diaper, school fee and all that is related to childI have to fork out my own . He does not give me any allowance. He does not seem to be interested in taking care of child . Only play with her for awhile when he is back . And when the child cry , he'll pretend not to hear and expect me to come out of the shower asap or stop doing my things . Be it both of us are eating , he finishes first , child crying and want my attention , he can wash his hand first and comfort till I take over but he just glued to the TV . When I tell him to do something to help , he will say baby doesn't want me la / what u want me to do in a frustrated manner . Ask for some allowance back then , since he don't want to take care physically , he will keep giving excuses that he need to pay this and that . End up I know he can take grab thru and fro to work everyday , borrow his friend money , set aside money to have outing with his friend , buy what he wants, buy his ciggs . During weekend , sometimes he do pay for our meals. But it's like that kind of feeling where I've to ask to help to help then he will . And tht kind of helping take care of baby is usually 5 min or so , and will pester me to faster carry her over. Or whenever I ask for help , he purposely light up cigg saying he smoking must wait . All the way taking care of my child myself sending her from school and back even tho I'm working is super tiring . I just feel like giving up . During sat , when he wakes up first with her , he will just play with her instead of providing her with breakfast and changing her fully soaked diaper . Doesnt mean u don't eat breakfast , my child too does not need breakfast . All he does is have fun . And when outside or in front of people , he will show that he take care of the child and all. All for show. And when people not around he totally dun care . Like he no different from other people only play with her, just that she sees her everyday .. and the saddest part is that , after all , the child does not listen s to me , but is afraid of the dad and will listen to whatever the dad ask to do .. Many feelings about this I have said to him but nvr really change. We are still on good terms tho , as I do not want to make things worse for the kid and this family . Social worker told me I can go to court to get some mantaince monetory . But I think it will ruin our relationship . Why is he like this...I have been thinking of divorce many times but do not want to make a wrong step ..wht should I do to make him take some responsibility of his own child. #advicepls

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am also in a similar situation, am having regrets of bearing him a child who grows attach to him while he doesn't know how to make her go to sleep/bed when the time comes. 😢I'm in the point of breaking off most of the times, stress is piling up also now as we're gonna put her to playgroup in 6mths'time, and he's not keen to help me on the registration part. 😰

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1y ago

maybe can try to pay with cda if is financial wise ? or bring this up to social worker?