Rant

What am i wrong?! I just want more supply what is wrong.. All my family think is no supply nevermind la its ok just fomula.. I am the only one with the baby (husband not around and i dont really like to rely on others abt anything) i want get supplements u all say waste money i want lactation u all also say waste money.. Fomula is expensive thats why i want to boost my milk to lower buy fomula.. U all keep comparing me with mothers that have no milk from the start say its ok some moms have no milk from the start.. Why cnt u all understand the sadness i feel when i see such a pathetic amount coming out of me not even enough to feed the baby.. And u all are not outsiders u all are my parents my sister! Why do u all keep proving to me how much u all dun understand me.. 22 years and this kind of not understanding me shit is still going on.. Do i have to really kill myself so someone can understand me? I have no friends because i am always the second option i have no one to rely on and im tired to always keep a smiley face to everyone.. Im so tired of everything..