12 Replies
It is natural (even for parents) to have favourites. As much as we could try not to have any preferences, it is kind of inevitable. That being said, being aware of this preference will help in reminding us to treat all our children the same (but please do not overcompensate and end up pushing away your favourite child!) Everyone's favourite may be different. Unless one child is noticeably getting a lot more attention over the other, there is no need to worry. Still, if you notice immediate family or close family friends playing favourites, you could let them know as they may not be aware that they are doing so. As soon as adults are aware of their actions, it is easier to consciously pay equal attention to both (or more) children.
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It's not just outsiders which show favouritism - parents have been known to favour one child over the other. Take into account the feelings of the disfavoured sibling and do try to talk to the relative in private. Tell them that while they may have a favourite, it is best to treat both children equally. Children are very sensitive and the disfavoured child may feel hurt if he sees his sibling getting all the love and attention from relatives. In this instance, do hug him and ensure that you love both of them equally. http://sg.theasianparent.com/playing-favourites/
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super relate. my children are not the favorite apos of my in-laws. but that's okay with me because they get so much love from my parents. also ayokong ipagsiksikan sila dun kung ayaw. kung ganong ugali lang matututunan ng mga anak ko from them, then better na hindi na lang sila close. yun lang.
Best is to speak to them directly about it if being subtle doesn't work. But I feel the best way is to help our children foster self-esteem such that they wouldn't think that such acts are because of them-- which could impact them negatively while growing up.
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I would express my gratitude to them for appreciating the close relationship between my kids but the unequal treatment might affect the relationships between cousins and friends. Keep equality in mind.
Then I think as parents we should put more attention on the child who is being left out and also gently remind our family to interact with the child as well