Today my daughter told me this, "Aiya,my friends will not come to my birthday party one la, cos I don't have any friends." My heart broke silently. She has always had difficulties making friends in school. She's the one who changes best friends everyday. And hangs out with girls from another class because the other girls in her class doesn't wan to hang out with her during recess time. Every parent teacher meeting, her teachers will bring up the subject of her not being able to socialise well. At the age of 8, all she wants is to have her friends like her and count her in as part of the group. Acceptance. But for the past few years, she has been struggling with that. And I could see that her self esteem is slowly eroding. She has a bossy nature and I know her friends don't like it. But she's only 8. She doesn't have strong self control unlike us adults. As a mum, I want so badly for her to feel accepted. Trust me, I've told her and taught her about controlling her bossy nature. I love her for who she is, her bossy nature cos she's a great leader. And I dont know what else I can do to help her. I'm just sharing this here cos I can't share on Facebook. I hope I have the wisdom to teach her to love herself no matter what.

I'm facing the same problem with making friends issue. My girl is also 8 this year .... During her Primary 1 year at first still not so bad but when Term 2 she started to change ... Crying Evey morning saying that she dun wan go school giving excuse not feeling . At first I think it normal cause kids also got mood swing haha ... But then THIA go on for about whole term so I start to find way to make her talk to me . My girl is the shy type n she won't make the first move to befriend people . She is weak in studies n she feel that she is left out. So what I do I try to talk to her teacher first then I move on with talking to the parents in our group chat. I actually ask them to help me by asking their kids to do me a favour by making the first move to her. OK things get better but because she is too weak she get bully n she is scare that she will be left out from this girls group. Again problem start, I have to tall to the teacher again. This time I also have a nice talk with her. I tell her u have to be comfortable n now what is rite n wrong. If this girl is trying to find fault with u then maybe u also have a problem. U must know how to protect ur self. U tell her friends are important but mummy is forever ur BFF so whenever u feel like giving up try talking to mummy first. Give her some examples, take time to talk to her before bedtime. Give her some time to change let her know at home n in school are not the same cause not everyone is like mummy will love them for what they are. U must really spend time every night talking to her like a Frz. I do that to my daughter. Slowly I believe she will undetstand.

She's the bossy type, does that mean she's outspoken? I remember in my Pri school days, I dislike bossy girls. My group of girls warn/advise each other not to befriend bossy girls. Usually Shy girls has less friends, is she behaving differently at home and in school? Bossy girls tend to be sarcastic unknowingly. I suggest talking to her, ask her why do u think ur friends dislike u? Let her realise what's the mistake by herself, and not just tell her "u are bossy in school Isit" Does she really knows what's bossy means? If teacher brought up socialising issue, I was thinking she's a bully in the class. (No offence) Give her suggestion daily, like why don't u ask "Sally" to go recess with u today. When she come back from sch n if Sally reject her ask her why, what or how did Sally reject u? If not join sports CCA, or uniform groups. They will learn leadership and teamwork. Then maybe she can slowly learn how to mingle w her friends? Socialising is a real issue. And a real set of skills everyone require. But it takes time. Do have patience and coach her along the way. =)

Hi there Mommy. Reading what you've written reminded me of my childhood, especially when I was in primary school. I was not outspoken and assertive like your little girl but I didn't have that many friends in primary school because I was the tallest in class (even amongst the boys), I was quiet and was awkward. Kids can be mean and oh boy were they mean to me. Unlike your daughter, I didn't dare say a thing to my parents because I didn't know what they would say. I eventually found another girl who was just as "weird" and it made things easier. As I grew into my teens, moved on to high school, I grew into my looks, my quirks and I embraced who I am. Tell your daughter that it won't always be like this -- things will get better and she should never compromise her personality too much just to win the approval of others. I hope your daughter will feel better soon and never ever question or doubt her personality ever again. And I hope she will find a friend or friends who will adore her for who she is, like how mine did :)

I guess socializing is really one thing a parent can't teach. It doesn't sound like she doesn't know how to make friends since she has friends from other classes. When I was younger, my best friends were also from my neighbouring class and every recess time, I will hang out with them and not the others in my class. Speak to her and see if this is bothering her. If it is not an issue to her and she is alright with not have a lot of friends and just a few better ones, then I think you need not be too worried. Just always assure her that she is likable and make her feel confident about herself. Also, keep a lookout during puberty period where one become more concern about one's looks and how others perceive one. Take care mummy. Let your girl blossom on her own.

Sorry that your baby has to go through that. I can only imagine how she feels. I was kinda ostracised when I was in primary school as I was more academically smart than most in my class. My life and friends dramatically improved when I enrolled in drama society and debate society, and my closest friends till now are the friends I made in debate society. So my advice to you is to sign her up for ccas that she can make friends in. Should be a Cca that she feels passionate about and can obsess over. She will either fall so in love with the "art" or she will make friends who are equally obsessive about the subject matter, and they can bond over that.

Is she from an atas school?