Child support

Hi. Not sure if this is the right channel to rant. But I am a single mum to a 14 month old boy. His dad and I actually dated for a measurable amount of time ( ~ 4 years )and it wasn’t a one night stand kind of thing. The thing is. When he didn’t want to settle down together I did a lot of horrible stuff. Such as spam calling him and tracking him down. He is paying for child support as we previously had an agreement signed. But recently I realized the girl whom forcefully got between us, is actually together with him now. What should I do? He is no longer in contact with me. All he does is to drop me a message monthly that he have already wired the money into our child’s bank account. He negotiated saying that if I were to drop this monthly alimony, he will hate me less and won’t ignore me. But how can I trust him? I am currently working now, but I don’t feel right letting him scoot free just like that, that’s why we signed the agreement initially. I have talked to his parents but they chose to ignore me. Deep down, I just want to have a complete family for my son. I haven’t had a complete family growing up and really wished my boy would have it. Is there anyone that we can go to in order to mediate the strained relationship between us? Is it really no use anymore? :-( I don’t really want to give up. I know I should move on seeing him that he have already moved on. But I really feel so indignant that he didn’t even try to give our family a chance. Or as horrible as it sounds, is there anywhere I can flame this girl publicly? She’s working in a reputable firm and holds a pretty high position. And if you’re wondering if we are teens no. We are all in our 30s.

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Super Mum

Hi.. thank you for sharing. I think as a mother, it’s very natural to want to have the best for your child, and to you, that’s a complete family with a father and mother. At the same time, would you consider the following? 1. Having a biological father physically present but not loving the child or the wife may be even worse than not having the person there? 2. Your child’s dad not ignoring you doesn’t equate to him wanting to be together with you, and he may actually end up hurting you even more by not ignoring your messages and sending hurtful replies. 3. I also agree with you that he should continue to pay money to raise your child. That’s the least he could do since he also brought this child into the world. 4. I really feel for you, that you don’t have a loving husband-wife relationship at this moment.. but I would like you to know that you are enough for your little one. You’re his hero, his mama, and his first love. I hope that you’ll be able to focus on loving him, because he’s more deserving of your love than a man that doesn’t want you. 5. As to whether this relationship is salvageable, well.. it takes 2 hands to clap. In order for someone to mediate, both of you need to show up for the counselling sessions, etc. If he’s moved on and isn’t interested in being your family, then really, you’re the only one getting hurt over and over again. Losing a relationship is really hard.. I hope you don’t let it interfere with the other aspects of your life and damage the other relationships in your life, because those are the things that are worth living for! You raised your son for 14 months? That is amazing stuff! What a wonderful woman you are! So please... don’t do hurtful things like flaming the other woman or trying to sabotage their relationship. You’re worth more than that, and maybe one day your son’s dad will see that, or maybe someone else will see your worth and love you for who you are. For now, I hope you’ll find love and joy in being with your son... that you’ll also enjoy your work, make good friends and surround yourself with positivity. Use the money that the dad gives to give your son the best, and show the dad that you’re a classy woman and awesome mum. Take care, dear...

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