Is my MIL a bit obsessive over my baby?

May not be the most structured post but rant ahead. Not sure if I’m overthinking but some things which my MIL does/says get on my nerves: For context, we don’t stay with my ILs but we make it a point to go over at least once every week. My hubs is rly pro family and this is his way of trying to let our families bond. But… 1. As soon as we set foot into the house, she always reaches out and asks me to pass my baby to her 2. Every now and then she implies (towards her relatives) that I’m lousy and cannot take care of my baby and dog tgt (sorry but I can perfectly do that, and it’s usually the case back at home when my hubs goes to work) 3. There are times when I don’t get to to spend as much time with my baby during the day because I was busy with other stuff. Or y’knw some days you just feel like cuddling with your baby more? She comes up to me and asks me to pass the baby to her cause: - she does a better job at making my baby sleep (don’t agree 100% but we our ways are different) - her hands are empty lol and there’s nothing for her to do 4. When my baby cries, I’m usually on high alert and I will stop whatever I’m doing to take a look or go tend to her. But my ILs completely disregard my presence and just passes the baby to and fro to try and calm her down 5. Sometimes when they’re carrying my baby, they suddenly just head towards the door and LEAVES. Where exactly I do not know, they only tell me when they come back they they go walk walk etc. They also don’t bring their phones along so I can’t help but worry that should something happen, I don’t know where or what to do. 6. We usually on the aircon only at night but over here, they keep insisting that my baby scared hot and always takes her away from me (in the living room) to go hide in the aircon room 7. They like to say stuff to my baby like “1-2 months later you can eat anything you want”, “ask mummy to give you gripe water so won’t fever”. I usually just Orh them back and don’t do anything more. Wow this is quite a list of unhappiness word vomit. With all that said, my hubs is a great man and his intentions are good - for our families to be close. And sometimes he does the hard job of intervening when I tell him to. But my ILs really have their own patterns…… do I really have to close one/both eyes when I come over to their place, just because there are times when we need their help to take care of the baby? 🥲

Anonymous

7 Replies

Write a reply

SIS. SAME. Its always the in laws! Theyre just very evil! I also went thru the same! Always hogging my baby and anyhow just take baby go somewhere else like wtf and when my baby came to me she quickly carry baby back. Lolol. Exactly why i hate meeting them and try to keep minimal contact. I also rant to my husb about this. I was depreesed during my confinement and PP because of this. Always hogging baby. My baby can very well walk but she keep wanting to carry baby then when baby cry so owww he’s sleepy. She also tried to feed my bb something i told her not to but she took baby secretly try to give. To me the most important thing is your husb HAS tobe stern and firm. He has to protect your family. Only the husb can talk to the IL

Well, just be positive. Taking a break after long hours taking care of your baby. As a first time mom, we all want the best for our baby and do what we think is right. So do the in laws mindset, first time grandma wanted to tell the whole world that she is a good grandma. After all, your baby is still your baby, but grandma doesn’t always got the time to be with their grand children. Close one eye for your husband, have a good relationships with your mil. Things will change. Offcourse, ur husband got the responsibility to make his mother understand that the need to respect your decision.

Set clear boundaries. Or speak to your husband and explain how you really feel. My mil is also constantly thinking she’s the best mother who knows the best way of taking care of children and it is indeed extremely annoying. After the first month, I set clear boundaries and stick with it all the way :)

Understand how you feel. I was busy assembling my baby’s milk bottles, breast pump etc after sterilising, and my mother in law asked if I want to carry baby now. I told her not now, need awhile more (because busy right). She then told my baby “ohhhh your mommy don’t want to carry you” 😪 sigh.

Omy. Im in the same boat as you. Whatever happened to you is happening to me. They get on my every nerves. But I can’t do anything because they also have their own pattern even after my husband intervened. I just close one eye…and pray things get better.. Hope things get better for you too💖

TapFluencer

on the bright side, at least not staying tgr

understand how you feel

Home Just Mums not most structured post but rant ahead not sure if im overthinking but s