Does your partner notice the same as you do? Has your mil told you this or you are assuming?
May be her insecurity stems from the fact that you will take the position that she always held in the house. Instead of letting your husband do the talking (your mil would know you told him anyways), why not talk to her with your husband and father in law around in a non-confrontational way? It will get awkward but will definitely clear some issues between you and her. Good luck!!
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