Living with mother that don't like babies

Hello mummies 👋 I'm not really asking/looking for advice but just more of a rant. Or more so to seek comfort with anybody that's in the same boat. Currently 30weeks w 1st bb & living with my parents as my BTO got delayed due to covid. Tentatively will be ready 2023. Aniways my situation is my mother don't really like infants/kids. She have been saying when me&bro were babies she rarely cleaned us up because she's disgusted with the poops, pees, vomit & all. Even bathing us she won't do. She will ask my father to take over instead. She basically won't deal with the messes or 'inconveniences' that comes with raising a baby. She has also outwardly voiced out preferring boys over girls. So when she found that I'm having a girl, she kind of lost interest? Honestly, I remember most of the trauma when my mother raised us while we were young. She would scream, hurl, curse and all other things because we didn't listen to her(I mean we were just kids). That's why even now at almost 30 I just can't bring myself to be a doting daughter towards her. Doesn't help that she has favouritism towards my brother 😂 Even while growing up, I didn't have a conducive,loving environment or know whats mother's love and thats sucks. I really think my mother didn't even want kids in the 1st place? Like you know the mindset of older gen that they have to bore children for the sake of it. Now that its nearing my due date, I'm scared that I would be overwhelmed or fall into depression due to upcoming changes. Mother already told me that she won't offer much help because she doesn't really want to. Its kinda sad whenever I think about this. My friends have always told me about how excited their parents are for the 1st grandchild, then there's me. But I'm so thankful I have a supportive husband. He has been reaffirming me he would take most of the load after I've given birth so I could rest. Also helps that he lovesss kids and have been yearning for 1 since we got married. He have been actively taking care of my needs and wants whilst pregnant. Aniways, here's to all the mums that got to do it on their own. Here's to breaking the cycle of toxic parenting 💪🏽💪🏽

4 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Hey don’t worry too much. Live day by day as it is. Don’t expect help or anything from others to avoid disappointment. Welcome any help that is rendered but always remember your child is your responsibility and priority. Maybe when your baby is born, her toxic attitude will change? Let us all pray that that happens. I lived in a toxic environment growing up as well. Middle child some more. My firstborn is a girl. Now am pregnant with a boy. My older sibling (my brother) has twins boy and girl, so you can imagine the love and attention given to his family instead. And my mother treats my SIL so much better than how she treats me and my sister. It’s like she’s her daughter instead. Oh I forgot.. my SIL buys her attention with money and sweet words. Lol which me and my sister felt disgusted because of how we were brought up. My brother will always be the apple of my parents eye, always. They can lend him thousands of dollars to renovate his then-home but brought up the topic about me being currently unemployed to raise my firstborn exclusively. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Over time I just learn to go in one ear and out the other. No point arguing or expecting even from your own blood relative. You’ve got your own family now, focus on that and nurture your offsprings however you want. ❤️

Read more

I’m like you too, living with parents cos bto most likely only ready in 2024. Always having clashes with the parents. No doubt they help me to take care of my children but they are quite toxic also. Everyday I keep thinking when will my hse arrive so I can break free from them. I always wonder why ppl can speak so negatively and push their in-laws away but won’t do the same to their parents. But here I am doing it

Read more

Hi! mummies to be very honest right my mum always wanted a baby boy cause her thinking is once her grandson grow up he will earn lots of money but once my mum know that i am having a baby girl she immediately change and fyi i do have a older sis she gave birth to a son and my mum kept taking care of her grandson and she never once help to take care of my daughter

Read more

congrats in adv! you can do it!