unsupportive family. :)))

Question

hey guys. just found out with hubby that we’re expecting a boy. and we are so delighted and filled with joy. anyways me and my mom arent really that close but like i expected her to be happy for me and hubby but when hubby relayed the msg to her that we are having a boy, all she replied was “ok” 😪 not even excited, no well wishes. nothing.she is a young mom. she had me at quite a young age. and she is doing super great now with her husband and my two half siblings (whose ages are soooo far apart from me). and i know she has always wanted a boy but she has only been blessed with three girls (including me). but am i to be blamed for that? anyways, she didnt raise me since young. so thats like what, 20+ years of missed connections between us. but like shouldnt she feel smth at all that her first is having her first? she’s not even excited or eager to have her first grandkid. she has never spoken to me eversince she found out i was pregnant anyways and i dont know why. not like im asking her for money. really wish she could be a supportive parent because sometimes it feels lonely 😔 is it because im having a boy and she never could have a boy? cant be she that petty right. or maybe she just doesnt care. hubby’s family is broken and he doesnt want his parents near our child because they are toxic and manipulative and mean and his dad is abusive and he is scared anything might happen to baby. my real father is busy with his own life and my mother is busy with her own new family. me and hubby are doing very well too and we are just waiting for baby to come, and hubby does a good job reminding me that it’s going to be okay and that our child will never go thru what we went thru. but thats not my concern. he is the best husband i could ever ask for but….. everyday when he isnt around i think too much and sometimes i pity my child because he is never going to have a grandparent to call out to. and im so tired of crying. so so tired.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would rather my baby have no grandparents to call rather than having to feel not wanted or taught the wrong stuffs. My case is I chose to cut all ties with my mum because she’s just toxic and I wouldn’t want her to ruin my life. She had me at 18 but all she did was play games on the computer all day and would just whack us whenever she didn’t had enough sleep. Every 2-3 days we will go to school with cane marks all over our legs. It was so embarrassing but that didn’t stop her. She asked my older sister to sleep with rich guys so that she can give her money like which mother does this. (My sister obviously didn’t.) I remember there was once where she called me to the room, asked me to lift up my shirt and they were all talking about my nipples growth with all my uncles around? (Back then I was in primary school so I didn’t thought much of it.) As I grow, I WAS disgusted that she could even do that to her own daughter. I was brought up by my grandma (VERY money minded but prefers female to male so I was considered lucky?) and only went back to my dad when I was 13. Thank god my dad & his current wife are good people. This is the 4th year I didn’t contact them (my mom’s side) and life is so much better compared to when I’m still in contact with them. So mummy, as much as people say family is important, we really have to decide for our own whether they are worth it. Outsiders will think we are unfilial if we cut all ties, but have they put themselves in our shoes. What I want to say is, we decide how we want our life to be. Stay strong mummy! 🤍 Lastly, what I read from above, your mum seems alright, maybe just not so excited but not toxic. Try communicating with her first? :)