Parents not happy with us when we against hiring maid for my newborn

Just a ranting post.. My parents has been always controlling over what I am doing. And even if me or my husband went against their will, we will get cold treatment from them. Worse, they raised their voice to make us scared and give in. From the first start we found we Im pregnant and we have made it clear we wouldn't want to hire maid, due to the heavy cost, mental stress (if she cannot work) and no place for helper to sleep. (Only living room) My husband and I made a decision to put at IFC when baby's 3mo. My mother was against the idea and tell us she can help to take care, even if she's tired she wouldn't mind. She added it's poor thing for my baby to go school and get sick at a very young age. She was so persistent w her persuasion so we forgo the IFC idea. I'm left with 2mths more to deliver and they suddenly brought up the hiring maid topic again. This time my husband and I make it firm we wouldn't want to hire and if your feel that helping us to take care of our baby is stressful to your, we will take care the baby ourselves. We wont let them interfere with anything. They aren't happy with us and they gave cold treatment, thinking we would surrender. We are staying with my parents, my husband just got his PR approved and we are intending to quickly get BTO to get out of here. I have been giving in to them the past 30yrs, now i feel like it's time for me to decide my life and plan whats best for my little family.. i hope im not toxic. #firstbaby #firsttimemom

Anonymous

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You are not the toxic one, your parents are; for behaving like spoilt brats and throwing tantrums (silent treatment / raising voice) when they don’t get their way. Don’t enable their behaviour by giving in to them when they do so! If your parents are not contributing financially towards the care of your child, don’t do anything you are not comfortable with and feel free to disregard their “advice”. After all, the parents are responsible for the well-being of their child, not the grandparents. Wishing you best of luck for your BTO (can consider resale of newly MOP flats; will be faster) and stay strong!

You’re right, stand firm! If they want to handle or insist on hiring a helper, ask them to pay for everything and provide a lodging for the helper. Helper can come over and take care baby during day time and must leave at night. This way if they can accept all the terms you gave, let them hire one then. You can instruct helper to do housework instead. Afterall it’s your house, you should have the rights whether or not who stays over and who doesn’t. Hope you get your flat soon!

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