hi mummies, could you share effective tips on encouraging your kids? i often hear 'good job'. is that useful?

I read some books before that just saying "good job" or "well done" are bad for children as it halts learning. Instead, praise the process/effort instead of the person. I can't recall the book the I read but this is one of the links which explains why. It works really well especially when I need my kid to do something that they don't really enjoy it a lot but did it for me. I will say "I see that you are tired and don't really have any more strength to walk. However, I am really happy to see that you continue to walk home on your own as you see that mommy's hand are full. I can really feel the love you have for me. I appreciate your thought and love you too." http://www.bluemangollc.com/june-23-the-negative-power-of-praise-why-you-should-stop-saying-good-job-to-your-children/

I like the list that Jinhui shared below, it's closest to what I use with my son! Encourage your kids with things that they did well, not just saying "good job" or "well done" but telling them specifically why. Even if it is a bad situation, you can encourage your child by saying things like "___ is hard isn't it? It's okay, don't worry and try again!" and guiding your child to accomplish it (NOT do it for them) then supporting them throughout :)

I will be specific in praising and encouraging. I know you can put your toys back in the basket, because you are a big boy! thank you for keeping your toys! I am proud of you! you are being nice by greeting everyone! Oh! You need help with putting on your shoe? let's do it together, let me show you how to do it on one side and then you don't the other, ok? something liddat.

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Be more precised. Tell and describe what it was that he did well. Instead of saying good job, you can say i like the way you put on your shoes yourself, or thank you for listening to me.

I started off with teaching my child please, thank you, and often praising the effort and process. The action.

I will explain to my LO why she has done well so that she could understand. Ending with a hug!

i would usually highlight her actions and tell her she did a good job by clapping too

I like the examples here - found it on google some time back

Thank you and Welcome is the biggest encouraging tips