Depression during pregnancy

Providing you from a SG husband's perspective. I hope it helps. My wife is also a teacher and she is progressing to her second trimester (yippee!!). A lot of stresses and challenges - I am not sure how she mustered her will to cope, while juggling with her rather severe morning sickness. There are also several incidences of threatened miscarriage between the past few weeks. Fortunately, our little one is fighting strong and we are in this together. My wife is putting on ear-plugs even before her pregnancy and I guess it helps. Do consider it. Meanwhile I wouldnt encourage your husband to sleep in a different room, as sometimes you may need a helping hand in the middle of the night which he should be helping you as the partner sleeping besides you. Wake him up and get him to help; I have been waking up in the early morning to help my wife and preparing her to go work. Honestly, that is the very least I felt I can do for her And it is already so tiring having a child, let alone the work as a teacher. Could you speak to your husband and collectively pay for a part-time cleaner on a regular basis? My wife and I did that and it resolved a lot of chores-stresses. Speak to your husband and tell him to step up; either pay for help or be hands-on. It is mainly for men's pleasure, and not so much of having sex which can better prepare a woman for birth. Intimacy could always be worked around during pregnancy and physical sex is not everything. Get around it by engage in various other activities like hugging, kissing, massage, oral sex and masturbation (https://www.babybonus.msf.gov.sg/parentingresources/web/Pregnancy/PregnancyDevelopment/PregnancyBonding/Pregnancy_Sex). Feel free to show your husband this message, from another husband's perspective. I will also encourage you to approach the nearest social service agencies to get help on your emotional and mental well-being (Do call ComCare Hotline: 1800-222-0000 to get referred to nearest help). All the best to you! 💪

Talk to someone who can understand what you are going through, be selective who you are talking to as you do not need additional negative voice from others. If financially you are able to cope, get helper to help you with the chores. Try to talk to the school to see if they are able to make some arrangements for your convenient during this period. Ask your gynae to give hospitalisation leave to give yourself a break/rest that you need. Find professional help if nothing works, don't keep everything to yourself. Women take care of the household out of love, if your husband is not being responsible enough to help you through, stop doing it & think that it's your responsibility to shoulder instead. I am a single mom who is giving birth in 2 weeks, previously cut off relationship with my baby's father as he blames me for not giving him time to adjust to my pregnancy, even when I'm pregnant with his child, he never stops suspecting me of cheating, asking me to get rid of my baby if I don't intend to give him rights to the baby etc. So, do what is right for yourself if nobody is willing to stand for you. Try to talk to your husband again & I hope things will turn out well for you. All the best!

hi there, just wanted to say that you are so brave and also so strong for already going through what you have been. i'm a fellow teacher too and i totally understand what you mean when you say it is tiring. recently, i've been diagnosed with prenatal depression as my family and gynae has been seeing some signs of it so i understand how dark it might get. i cant help much but i do encourage you to speak to someone you trust, or even voice out to your doctor about how you feel at the moment. mine referred me to a psychiatrist and he immediately put me on antidepressants and HL because it's on the brink of severe and it places us at a higher risk of developing postnatal depression as well. sending so many hugs your way because i know with the culmination of so many things, it can be so difficult to find joy in your pregnancy. and it's so sad when you're supposed to be happy. i hope this shall pass for you and that you'll find the support you need. 🤍

I am so glad that you have spoken up here! You are a wonder woman and we are here to remind you of that. There are many issues that you are facing; I suggest you pick one and solve it one at a time. Every achievement is an improvement! On the snoring part, either you sleep elsewhere or you wear ear plugs or even get your husband to sleep elsewhere! Teachers have early days and late nights, and rest is v important. As for household chores, look at how urgent and important it is - don't do everything, and everyday! You barely had any energy left. Some chores can wait, and it won't hurt anybody. As for your mom, though she wont take you back, she can still lend a listening ear, which you need. We may be wives now, but we are always a daughter first. Alternatively, look for a gf or a friend to talk about it. Release the negativity so to build/increase positivity. You are not alone!

Dear mummy, please fight for your rights to be happy. First and foremost, you must truly believe that You deserve respect and happiness. Please reach out to social services for counseling before depression gets worse. If you fall within certain income level, you get subsidized and very affordable rates. The worst thing you can do now is to remain status quo and just let the situation and your mental state worsen. If husband snore affects you, you can sleep in another room. Just dont do household chores if it’s too much for you - know that baby’s safety should come first and your family should have this mindset too!! Doing too much at pregnancy can risk miscarriage. If your pregnancy isn’t stable, sex is also a no-no. If your husband cannot accept these things then I think he is a very toxic person and you should open your eyes to what kind of person and attitude he has.

You're doing the best that you can. Don't penalize yourself for all that you've done, for yourself and your family. Speak to a girlfriend whom you can confide in. Get support from girls friends, they are the best when either family nor husband tries to understand what you're going through. Reconnect with your good old friends. Believe that the best is yet to come. What you're going through is a phase that will not last. You can and shall prevail over this phase. Glad that you poured your heart out here. This community understand what you're going through.