Second/third hand smoke from FIL

My parent-in-laws are nice people and they treat me very well. They are willing to care for my baby when I go back to work too. I see that they’ve raised my husband to be a wonderful person, and they dote on the other grandkids and I don’t mind them taking care of my child. However, my father in law smokes and I find that a dealbreaker. My husband has been telling his father to stop smoking for years but he can’t quit. Even now, while I’m pregnant, he still smokes when I’m at their house and I can smell it on him when he comes back into the house and it makes me uncomfortable. My husband notices this and tells him to change clothes when he comes back in. Having my in-laws care for my child is the most economic thing for us to do, but how do I reconcile with the fact that I don’t want my kid exposed to second/third hand smoke? I don’t think simply telling my FIL to stop smoking will work at this point cos my SIL did do this when my in-laws cared for their baby and it caused some rifts between them.

Anonymous

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Oh dear. You tell your hub, u smell cigarette, u got headaches/feel like fainting/vomiting Since your pil are nice, I will chat with them together with hubby. I will voice out n it’s bad for newborn / kids Ask pil to smoke downstairs instead. Wash hands n change clothing if gonna Carry baby. Fil smoke for many years very hard to quit. My mom smokes too. So I know how it feels like. When my baby was born, she always go down n smoke & wash hands . Now my lo has grown up, she smokes inside toilet or far away from my lo. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I have to bring my lo to room or living room always. Very troublesome!!! My mom is very old , 70 yo. Quite stubborn for her for quitting it n forgetful when my lo was around area. If your pil gonna stay at hm n look after baby. Will your fil can tahan for many years jz to go down smoke, wash hands n change clothes? If yes. Then it’s ok. If not, Maybe you can consider send to CC once lo is older. Trust me. At least, not so bad. You wouldn’t be stressing even if u at work.

No choice, it’s either he quits or you have to look for ifc for your baby. Of course, you have to drop the hint subtly. Like get ur hubby to tell them you’ll be putting baby in ifc if they’re expecting to look after. They may ask why, then your hubby can drop the hint about smoking. If your Fil feels it’s an important thing to have grandchild be taken care of by them, he’ll make the necessary changes or even quit. Sometimes elderly people just need some motivation. If he doesn’t, then you have to do what’s best for your kid.

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