I don’t want to do this anymore

Hi, thank you for sharing what you are going through and how you truly feel even though it’s an anonymous post. It surely took courage from you to even type these words out and to say that you are suicidal. Giving you a big hug 🤍 It’s really tough to be pregnant without the support of your partner and the people around you… and terrifying to think of how you will manage being a single mother when your baby is born. But please please please know that your life is not over yet and you haven’t experience all the beautiful things in life, especially with your baby in future. No matter what mistakes or wrong decisions you have made, you are still loved and your life is still worth living. It’s going to be hard but you will get through. The hard times will pass. Trust in your inner strength, you can overcome these challenges and be the mother that your child needs :) You will be so thankful for yourself for holding on in future, please always remember that. I’m worried about your suicidal thoughts. Are you able to share with someone close to you? A friend? It’s the loneliest and scariest to struggle with suicidal thoughts alone. Please talk to someone so that they can share your burden and watch over you during times when your suicidal thoughts and the urge to do something to yourself or your baby are very strong. If there’s no one close that you can talk to, would you try seeking professional help? You can tell your gynae and they will refer you to a psychologist in the hospital. Or you can go to the family service centre nearest to your home and they will refer you for counselling. Sometimes we all need a little support and a sincere listening ear to get through the difficult times in life. As for your partner… as much as you want your child to have a father because of your personal experience of not having a present father, it’s honestly for the better to raise your child alone if he is not loving/not responsible/not willing to be a father. Even if you force him to for the sake of your child having someone to call dad, your child will be hurt having a father like this. Unless he changes and really knows what it means to be a father… otherwise it’s better that your child grows up with just a loving mother. He/she will grow up well even with one present and loving parent than growing up with the hurts of a father that doesn’t love him/her. Think about it and have a talk with your partner to break things off. Furthermore if he doesn’t love you, walk away. Stop giving him sex. You deserve better and you are worth so much more. The fear of abandonment is really painful but it’s even more painful to stay with someone who just use you for sex and doesn’t love or care about you even when you are in such a vulnerable state being pregnant. It’s going to be hard but make the decision for yourself and your baby. There’s so many fears and you will feel lost navigating this period. It’s extremely challenging but take one day at a time, one step at a time. Take care of yourself. Find your support, even if it’s just one person. Leaving you with this social service where you can seek help from: https://asinglelove.sg 🙆🏻‍♀️ Please don’t give up on yourself and your baby. No matter how the baby came from, it’s still a gift from God and you are chosen to be his/her mother.