Incredible Feeling!!

Hi mga momsh! Gusto ko lang sana ishare yung experience ko. Sorry mejo long post ito. I had my very first check up last 3rd of March 2020. That's time I was like 5weeks and 2days pregnant, nag pa transV ako nun ang super liit lang ng sac na nakita at wala pang heartbeat si babyO ko. Syempre pag ganoon mapaparanoid ka at kakabahan talaga. Inadvised ako ng OB ko na bumalik ng March 17 but sadly due to lockdown wala na nung bukas na clinic malapit samin. Since March 2 kung ano ano na naiisip ko. I tried to research ang lahat ata makita kong article nabasa ko about Anembryonic Pregnancy, Blighted Ovum, missed miscarriage etc. Yes, ganun po ako ka worried and ka paranoid since I was to blind kung kumusta ba ang baby ko. I knew reading those kind of articles will make me more stressed kaya kinakausap ko talaga si Baby pag nagbabasa ako ng ganun sinasabi ko "Baby, nagbabasa nito si mommy di dahil ayaw ko sayo ha? Gusto ko lang malaman kung meron ba tayong mga signs nito." Day by day nagbabasa ako inaassess ko sarili ko since wala talaga ako maramdaman sa tiyan ko until April comes, I felt a fast hard pulse sa my tummy ko and really I called God! I asked Him "Is it Your way to tell me that we're okay?", syempre curious talaga ako kung si Baby ba yun or what kasi I'm very hopeful talaga. I then continued my research (Yes, paranoid po ako talaga) and I came across the article about Aorta Pulse so naisip ko bigla na yung oulse na nafeel ko could be my own aorta not my baby. Syempre worried na naman ako pero I'm keeping myself positive while researching. Di ko binibitawan anak ko everyday ko sya kinakausap and sinasabi ko na "Pumpkin, my heart say you're inside my tummy growing but I want to have some peace of mind for us. I don't mind you growing bigger in my tummy or giving me strange weird senses/morning sickness. Please let me feel you more and more." Miracles do happen talaga mga Momsh, I started feeling strange sense of smell na lahat ng niluluto ang baho. I swear pati yung pinapakulong tubig naaamoy ko and nanghihina talaga ako nun. I had my strange cravings na di ko maiwasang umiyak pag di ko makuha. I even doubled or maybe tripled my appetite. I asked myself again "Siya na kaya yun? I thank my baby for trying to communicate to me. " But those strange senses came ON and OFF as week goes by so ito na naman ako trying to convince myself that we're fine but still want an assurance. Nabasa ko yung about sa Missed Miscarriage and that strike mu so hard na worried talaga ng bongga so I kept contacting my OB to get an appointment, wala po kami sasakyan talaga ang malayo kami sa centre kaya very hopeless talaga ako sa advice. I kept reading here and other source online. I just follow lahat nga advices na nababasa ko dito (Salamat sa questions ng ibang momsh) at from online. Yesterday, I finally had the chance to go out kasi may byahe na paunti unti samin, I met my OB and she did scan my tummy that there my little Pumpkin goes. I have heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was so mesmerizing! My OB said "My baby is big and di daw halata sakin kasi maliit tummy konpero malaki ang very active si Baby". I felt relief! She continued the scan and I saw my Pumpkin flexing his/her fingers and bigla pang gumalaw ulo nya! I cried! I cried a lot yesterday! I was very emotional di ko maexplain. Sabi ko nalang kay doc pasensya na kung naiiyak ako sabi nya mas maiiyak daw ako pag nakita na namin ang gender. Yes, I'm schedule for gender scanning next month and I'm so so excited. I just couldn't wait na makita sya. Ganito pala yung feeling na pagnakikita mo na sya it's quite mesmerizing! I'm so thankful na di kami sumuko ni Baby. I hope na sana yung ibang momsh na tulad kong paranoid won't stop believing the connection between yourself and your little one. God Bless satin lahat mga momsh!