Ask the Expert: Maintaining long-term romance in marriages

I don't know how it works too. I am online answering the questions on the thread. If I were you and I am not you (empathy for you!), I would bring up to my partner about my unhappiness about this "coming over" without notice. He needs to speak to his mother that this is unacceptable otherwise I will do it myself. Depending on the person, one's need for confidentiality and privacy is different. And regardless of whether you are a very private person etc, it is irrelevant as people around you needs to respect where you're at - not the other way around. It is not wrong to assert yourself and create some boundaries - including changing the locks; creating a digital check-in system; installing CCTV to monitor what happens in the house etc. Do what you need because you deserve to feel safe in your own house.