JTR: When we had our no1, hubby was so hands off and jus buried himself in work. So whenever his hands on friends shared about taking care of their kids, hubby felt so paiseh(deep inside). Thus, no2 he said he wanna be a hands on dad. Ok sounds great right.(i thought so too) Sigh!!! Hubby has NEVER taken care of any baby neither kid before. No2 was his first time. The way he carried and pat no2, makes us(parents, family members including me!!!) worried. Whenever no2 cries, he will carry no2 shake and shake and shake, if not we feel he pat no2 kind of hard on the backside or shoulder. It seems rather rough to baby. Also, every single time he changed no2, he made a mess, either poo until pants and shirts, or poo until bed and cot. We tried to talk to hubby and tried to tell him what to do but he was upset and unhappy about it. He told us he knows what he is doing dont need us to watch him and tell him what to do. He even said that because we are watching at him that caused him to make the blunder. Even my 15yo cousin also find the way hubby handles no2 abit rough. Night time hubby said he wanna look after no2, yet he fell aslp way earlier than any of us(10+ or 11+) and couldnt wake up to take care. A few times caught him falling aslp while feeding no2, worse is sometimes he was standing while feeding and almost "fell" when dozed off. I told him umpteenth times but he gets so personal and angry. He even got angry and irritated whenever no2 cries or even no1 whines. Right now he is having his paternal leaves, daytime mum and i were taking care of the two kids, while hubby either goes out or does his own work. One hand i wanted hubby to contribute more on taking care of kids, the other hand i get so worried seeing the way hubby handles them. If i say or tell hubby, he gets angry, don tell him he also wont change for the better. Arghhh!!! Feels so angry bout it!

Give this man a beer. Even with all the negativity he still march on. Do you know your husband well enough? Do you know how he learn a new skill.. Some people need to be hands on and slowly figure the way out or watch other people doing. Criticism regardless the good intentions can be counter productive. All in all everyone learn differently..

Like you said, he never hands on before. So this is considered new to him. He needs time to learn and change the method or posture he uses. Probably share w him nicely that the way he was handling baby is wrong or not healthy. You also don't want to offend him until he totally washes his hands off child care. Slowly mummy.

🙄🙄🙄 sorry but i also rolled eyes for you. My husband is EXACTLY like yours. When he does something for one time, we have to be grateful and praise. When all along we are the one doing it, he think that it's Meant to be. We shld be doing it 🙄🙄🙄🙄

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can see that your husband ego level is pretty high. refuse to believe own family members and only believe in googling stuffs. Honestly i can say just bite it through. Not easy to handle an egoistic husband. I have one too.

Well. I was in your position. That's why I don't bother asking my husband to be hands on UNTIL my kids are old enough to walk. so it's easier to manage. Maybe for now, just bite thru and hang in there?

If change diapers n he caused a mess, get him to clean up the mess himself. When he realised that he created more mess n more jobs for himself he will find more effective ways to do it

Get him to join ParentTown - and we can give him advice here Loh. I made my hubby get on ParentTown and it's really helped!

Maybe ask the PD or go to a class on how to take care of bb tgt?

Google and watch family shows together!!