JTR: When we had our no1, hubby was so hands off and jus buried himself in work. So whenever his hands on friends shared about taking care of their kids, hubby felt so paiseh(deep inside). Thus, no2 he said he wanna be a hands on dad. Ok sounds great right.(i thought so too) Sigh!!! Hubby has NEVER taken care of any baby neither kid before. No2 was his first time. The way he carried and pat no2, makes us(parents, family members including me!!!) worried. Whenever no2 cries, he will carry no2 shake and shake and shake, if not we feel he pat no2 kind of hard on the backside or shoulder. It seems rather rough to baby. Also, every single time he changed no2, he made a mess, either poo until pants and shirts, or poo until bed and cot. We tried to talk to hubby and tried to tell him what to do but he was upset and unhappy about it. He told us he knows what he is doing dont need us to watch him and tell him what to do. He even said that because we are watching at him that caused him to make the blunder. Even my 15yo cousin also find the way hubby handles no2 abit rough. Night time hubby said he wanna look after no2, yet he fell aslp way earlier than any of us(10+ or 11+) and couldnt wake up to take care. A few times caught him falling aslp while feeding no2, worse is sometimes he was standing while feeding and almost "fell" when dozed off. I told him umpteenth times but he gets so personal and angry. He even got angry and irritated whenever no2 cries or even no1 whines. Right now he is having his paternal leaves, daytime mum and i were taking care of the two kids, while hubby either goes out or does his own work. One hand i wanted hubby to contribute more on taking care of kids, the other hand i get so worried seeing the way hubby handles them. If i say or tell hubby, he gets angry, don tell him he also wont change for the better. Arghhh!!! Feels so angry bout it!