I've been married for 2 years with a baby now. This sounds really crappy but I've never been able to forget about my last partner. We were deeply in love and were planning to get married but the problem was that my dad absolutely objected to the relationship. My previous partner is an American which my dad absolutely detested. He even made a trip over to the US l just to tell him to end the relationship ship. During that whole period, my dad and I were constantly fighting. I was in school and eventually my dad just tired me out completely, I ended the relationship. I wanted to make my dad happy but I realised that I have never been happy since. I just felt like if I continued the relationship, my dad would never ever be happy. I just "settled" for someone who seemed like he would love me. I know that ultimately I've already made my decision. But I can't help but hate myself for putting my dad's happiness in front of mine.

8 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Hi, I can understand your anger that you have for your dad. But I think whole thing happened in confusion. Since, you were young and could not stand firm with the guy and let your dad rule you. You did all that because you were not sure of yourself and not 'just' out of love of your father. Which again is not your fault as when we are young, most of us are confused. Since, you have moved a long way now, I think there is no choice but to live in the present and try to find happiness in what you have. Forgive yourself and forgive your father as well, as your father too is getting old and if you make him live with the feeling that you lost your happiness because of him, you are doing no good to him. As you said that you married another man because of your father, then atleast let him be happy. By sulking on the thing that had gone by and cannot be changed, you are defeating the whole point of listening to your dad. If you do not want to regret any further in life for making your dad feel guilty of spoiling your life then I guess, you must not discuss this with your father ever, and enjoy your present. Present is all what we have.

Read more

I know what you mean. Regretting a decision that we have made in the past. Really hating ourselves when we think back. All the 'what ifs' and thinking about ur ex once in a while. But we can't turn back time. Esp when you have a child now and im sure u wan ur child to be in a happy family. Keep those what ifs inside you in one corner and focus on creating lovely memories with your hubby and your baby. Not everyone is as blessed as you to have a hubby who loves u n a baby. Becoz if u give up on ur family now, you might regret again.. Just my 2 cents worth.

Read more
8y ago

Thanks. And I totally agree. I've been telling myself to stop with all the what ifs because they're just not gonna get me anywhere. But I Guess I needed to hear it from someone else too. I really appreciate that.

We all have regrets, but it's who we ultimately choose. Things might have been perfect with someone, but things might not have been as good given the same situation with different person. He might act differently if you were married with him, or had kids? Well we never know. But when I was younger my mom did told me something really true. You will not marry someone you love the most, you will be thankful you didn't. Because what matters is you are able to live with that person for life.

Read more

Promo terbesar expert care sudah dimulai, diskon hingga Rp.100.000 sedang berlangsung di shopee, ada juga voucher diskon 100% alias gratis bagi bunda yang beruntung. Buruan cek di https://shope.ee/9UfEMMqqTg (id-19657)

Ah the one that got away :( Anyway if it makes you feel better, divorce rate in US is higher so you might have save yourself from a life time of hurt by settling for a good old down to earth SG guy.

My previous boyf was from Usa too. Since you're married with kids, try to find happiness with your Husband?

8y ago

:) yeah, that's what I've been psyching myself to do. We get along, but with my previous partner, it was just completely different. I'm just mad that my dad didn't really give us a chance.

The grass is always greener on the other side... enjoy what you have now and put aside the past.

VIP Member

Not healthy to think of exes. Focus on your family and enjoy the precious moments