I've always thought I am able to handle 2 children when my 2nd child arrived 2 months ago. Things is not not gg well especially I feel I have been very harsh with my 5 yrs old boy recently. While I am trying very hard to bond with my LO , the elder one will start to speak very loud at home and will go disturb the baby when he is asleep soundly. Recently, teacher told me the elder one hit someone at childcare and when I ask him nicely , he is totally not willing to talk about it. He does not have this kind of record in school before. When I talk to him , he will just immense himself into his fav TV cartoon and would not answer or pay little attention to my words. Sometimes , he is rude to my mum too. I am starting to worry about his character.... At few times , he pushed me to my limits and I could not tolerate and swear in front of him . I know I shouldn't be and feel ashamed at myself .Things seems to change a lot after the LO arrived . In the past I have read many parenting books in order to be the best mum I could.But I feel like I have failed just been a good mum after all and I feel so angry with him that I told him I don't love him anymore.My husband scolded me for my mean words and I really regretted. At the same time , I really want to give more attention to the little one which he really needs as an infant . I am torn and feel really tired as I also need to spend time with my elder one on his homework as he will be approaching K2 very soon. I need need some wise advices. Thanks

Anonymous

26 Replies

Write a reply

Yes, it's not easy to handle two kids with different demands from you but it can be managed. From your situation, seems that your older boy is jealous that you're giving all your attention to the little one. At his age, he won't understand why you should give more care and time to the little one. Hence with you scolding him out of frustration or when he doesn't listen to you, that is not going to help him. Perhaps while you are feeding or bathing the little one, you can get him to help a little... as you do certain task, explain to him that baby is so small needs both your love to help him, tell him altho baby can't talk but baby is thankful that big bro is helping to prep his clothes/towel, tell him baby is happy to have him as a big bro etc Also take the chance to tell him that mummy loves him still the same even if baby is now home, that you are happy he is willing to help you bring baby's clothes, for helping you with little chores, tell him he is now BIG BRO and can learn to take on new responsibilities, tell him mummy sees him grown up and becoming a big bro to baby, tell him you love him for that. He needs your assurance esp more when little one is having most of your attention now. Stay strong, take the time to bond with both. You're a great mummy, your older one will be able to feel it. Jia you :)

25 Replies

Home Just Mums ive always thought i able handle 2 children when 2nd child arrived 2 months ago things not not gg especially i feel i have been very harsh with 5 yrs old boy recently while i trying very hard bond with lo elder start speak very loud home go disturb baby when asleep soundly recently teacher told elder hit someone childcare when i ask him nicely totally not willing talk about does not have kind record in school before when i talk him immense himself