I've always thought I am able to handle 2 children when my 2nd child arrived 2 months ago. Things is not not gg well especially I feel I have been very harsh with my 5 yrs old boy recently. While I am trying very hard to bond with my LO , the elder one will start to speak very loud at home and will go disturb the baby when he is asleep soundly. Recently, teacher told me the elder one hit someone at childcare and when I ask him nicely , he is totally not willing to talk about it. He does not have this kind of record in school before. When I talk to him , he will just immense himself into his fav TV cartoon and would not answer or pay little attention to my words. Sometimes , he is rude to my mum too. I am starting to worry about his character.... At few times , he pushed me to my limits and I could not tolerate and swear in front of him . I know I shouldn't be and feel ashamed at myself .Things seems to change a lot after the LO arrived . In the past I have read many parenting books in order to be the best mum I could.But I feel like I have failed just been a good mum after all and I feel so angry with him that I told him I don't love him anymore.My husband scolded me for my mean words and I really regretted. At the same time , I really want to give more attention to the little one which he really needs as an infant . I am torn and feel really tired as I also need to spend time with my elder one on his homework as he will be approaching K2 very soon. I need need some wise advices. Thanks

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Firstly, I think you should sit down with your first child and apologise to him for saying you don't love him anymore. Tell him you are very sorry and you regret it and you love him a lot. Tell him mummy also makes mistakes and ask him will he forgive you? This will start to heal the rift in your relationship. Then I think you should commit to doing a nighttime routine with ur older child every night - bathtime, story time and bedtime - give him your undivided attention for his perhaps 30 mins. This will help him bond with you. You can have a special box for him that he can write down a thought a day and you can discuss it with him every night too. (Learnt from Super nanny- you can YouTube some of her videos.. and pick up some parenting tips) Your first child is feeling neglected so he's acting out. Maybe once every 2 weeks have a special one on one date with him- bring him out for ice cream or something alone and leave baby with daddy or grandparents. Also do have acitivities involving the entire family so your older Son and baby can bond. Lastly, could you consider part time or flexi work so that you have more time with both kids? Tempers tend to run short when you're already stressed with a Long day at work and having to deal with kids. But if you can't, it's ok... just gotta work with what you can do :)

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