Rude or not?

Hi. Idk if it’s just me or what but I find it extremely rude, disrespectful and annoyed when a child cries and you go “come come come” and just carry my kid away from my arms. If you’re the mom, fine but I’m the mom?? You’re trying to imply only you can pacify the child or that i can’t pacify my own kid? Moreover it’s probably like first whine and then immediately rush out and carry baby away??! I personally find that if baby keeps crying and I can’t settle for quite some time then you offer to carry I’m perfectly thankful but not always when baby whine (don’t want to sleep, don’t want to drink milk) then you just carry away like I’m non existent 😒 Other scenarios like I’m making baby sleep (almost asleep after tired crying) and then people just come in and be like “IS SHE ASLEEP?!” or just come in and ask her “OH BABY YOU SLEEPING HA?” then my baby will be WIDE AWAKE and crying to play again?! I believe babies are smart and can differentiate voices of who is play time and who is sleep time?! And I don’t want to be rude but it keeps repeating argh I just keep killing my inner self with fire 😤 Thanks for hearing me out. - A VERY VERY ANNOYED FTM.

Anonymous

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Aiyoh same!!! Hahahaha there were a few times when my MIL would rush over when she heard my LO cried. She would ask to take my LO away to console her. Dude come on lah, I’m the mother, I’m not capable of soothing my own child is it? I even tell my husband angrily about it. My husband is useless lah, he just shrug it off. Lol so I take it in my own hands lah what else. I straight away told her firmly, never mind it’s okay I can, I can. I repeated like 2-3 times. She was like blur blur and still extending her arms waiting for me to hand my LO over. And after a few seconds she’ll just walk away. I don’t care how she feels, it’s my daughter. I am her mother and I am capable of soothing her myself. Don’t make me an incompetent mother by hovering. Just do that. Maybe raise your voice a little bit and say it firmly. I cannot stand these kind of inconsiderate, brainless people. Sometimes when I’m disciplining my child, I’ll go into the room and shut the door. I seldom do it in front of my in-laws cause they’d be like giving in to my LO and giving whatever she wants. I don’t like it, I hate it. Don’t bloody interfere in my disciplining my child. I take it inside and shut off. But I do discipline in front of them at times, just to give them “hints” that there are things that I don’t like and you should not be doing it, period.

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Anonymous

2y ago

We all poor DILs, I feel you guys omg. Worse is we can’t just give them one power one cause we outsider then if we rude, probably next day whole block also know!!! My fil is another 极品. He’s an angmoh (stepdad) and I always thought angmoh damn nice and less drama but no eh! Small thing he keeps complaining to my mil then my mil being the very small gas person not happy. All the sparks ignited by this dude I damn angst. Keeps stirring 💩 zzz. If I were to tell my baby those, my mil confirm flip then act victim. 😂

OMG I FEEL YOU! Idk how many times has this happened to me. My MIL just have this mindset that she’s the only one that can calm my baby. The other time my baby was crying because he’s having a hard time to poop so ive been trying to calm him down, she just walked in to MY ROOM and wanted to take the baby away. I told her off and she left but I know she’s not happy but who cares. The whole time during my pregnancy, my in laws totally dont care about me and the baby, didnt even bother to asked anything related to the baby but now when he’s out they suddenly think they can claim the baby and take him whenever they want. Nonsense.

Anonymous

2y ago

Yea… there was a few occasions she be like “come carry awhile and just took the baby away”. Not sure if I misunderstood it as a question or was that just an inform. I wished I could tell her off 🙃 But I’m staying at her place and I’ll be moving out in a few months time so I always tell myself….. ok tahan few more months when i get my own house no one is getting the address 😅 But I think your case is worse… at the very least my in law cared about the baby. You staying at your in laws or they staying at your place?

Super annoying right. And its always with my PIL leh i have this kind of probs. My own parents not like this one. My own parents will always let me handle until i cannot handle then they help. For PIL, baby cry abit abit only also want come come come. At first i still quite chill but after a while i got really annoyed when they want take baby away frm me i just pull baby back and told them i can handle then walk away and pacify baby my own way until baby quiet. Had enough leh. My child, my say. Just pull baby away back if they like that! Dont care them. Its YOUR baby and youre the Mother, so you have the last say.

Anonymous

2y ago

Ya but hard la.. cause my BTO coming in a few months I wanna live in peace. Previously we had a Cold War with them then I treated them like invisible.. deleted my pil off all social media and one fine day she decided to rage, still bang table wtf lol so I just packed up my husband and I to my dad’s place. She can purposely don’t cook our dinner knowing that we are the ones always at home, or abit abit she will sarcastic at us, smash things Ping Ping biang biang when we are near her. She only got better when she know I’m pregnant and kept asking us to move back. My fil another one like to stir 💩 talk like no need responsible for it. All the fire was ignited by him one zzz

I feel you, babe! The same thing I’m going through but just hang in there and ignore them. What I do when I get annoyed, is to bring baby into the room cause it’s my safe haven, no one should disturb. Just keep yourself and baby in there until they give up waiting or baby falls asleep. :)

1 more comment

2y ago

Omgggg, your FIL last warning. So rude!! Knocking does not mean consent to enter the room. Don’t understand these oldies really. Can be super frustrating. 🌚 But that’s the biggest issue with having the in-laws around I guess. 🥲

U have to set boundaries. Either tell mil openly. I would say: thanks for the help but help me only if I asked u. And also can reject me if you’re busy at the time I ask for help. If do not want to confront, move out.

how can u expect things to get better when u kept ur mouth shut? instead of defending ur baby and urself? u said u r the mother but why are u silent? so people can step over ur head?

Anonymous

2y ago

If you did follow the comments above, i did mentioned that I told her so many times. I packed and moved to my dad’s place with my hubby when I fell out with my PILs and was asked to move back cause my husband went to told them about my pregnancy. My BTO will be coming in a few months hence I don’t want to go thru all these nonsense again while waiting so I chose to talk nicely or keep quiet instead.. Else given my character I would have ABC them if it was my own parents 😩

DK WHY THESE MIL SO SHAMLESS ONE.. NEXT TIME LOCK DOOR WHEN U TRYING TO GET YOUR BABY SLEEPING.. DONT FEEL PAISEH TO TELL THEM OFF.. UR CHILD NOT THEIRS.. SO PEK CHEK DE