I need an emotional support 😔 This is a bit long story..

I was once a single mom. Tinakbuhan ako ng tatay ng anak ko, trying to deny that it was his. And so my family and I decided na wag na ipilit at wag na habulin pa. My family supported me all the way. But getting pregnant at my young age of 19, isn't easy at all. People judged me, looked at me na parang ang baba ko. I gave birth to a twin girls na premature. 8mos to be exact ng ipanganak ko cla. Sa Fabella ako nanganak kng san hnd allowed pmsok un ksma mo. I was all alone inside of the hospital that time. May time na bgla aqng ttwgin dhl un baby ko na nsa NICU, humihinto s pghinga, need slinan ng dugo. After of 20days. Finally, nklabas kme at ligtas nman ang mga babies q. We raised them ng wlng hiningi n kht anong support sa ttay. At my young age, i think it's normal pa dn nman na mhulog ang loob ko s llaki at mghangad ng maaus n relasyon n tnggap ang nkraan ko pati ang mga anak q. But after of failing, di na ko ngtiwala sa kapwa ntn Pinoy. And so when I met this foreign man, who offered me love, a good life for me and for my kids, a marriage. I grabbed the opportunity. Dinala nia kme s bansa nia, pnaranas un maaus n buhay. But after 2yrs, nging toxic un relationship nmen. He treated me like a housekeeper only and not a wife. A lot of things to say to describe how toxic our relationship was. So we both decided to get a divorce. And umuwi n kme ng mga ank q s Pinas. Naghwlay kme ng maaus, at dhl ank ang turing nia s mga ank q.. di nmn nwla ang pgmmhal at suporta nia s mga bata. And after of more than a year, i found this guy. My partner now. Binata at sobrang daming babae sa buhay. You know, mga kalandian at mga nakeme. May isa pa nga na naghahabol khit kami na. Aaminin ko, Yes.. Sobrang bilis at tila di pinag isipan yun nging move and decisions ko. Namin. After a month, preggy na ko. Di aq nkkramdam ng pagsisisi sa pagbubuntis ko ngaun..dhl hiniling ko to ky God at naniniwla aq na blessing Nya to para sakin. But it feels like iba to pra s partner ko😔 I had to stop working dhl my chance na mkunan aq and he's the only one now working for us. Alm q at naiintndhan q nman na nkkpgod s side nia😔pero ang skt lng na.. May pgkktaon sbihin nia skn na nagsisisi sya sa naging desisyon nia😔 Kya qng tnggpin lht ng mskt n slta pro un word na nagsisisi sa desisyon. Yun ang pinakamasakit. Kya simula non, di na din ako umasa n ddting kme s punto n mgppkasal. Pro sya ang nagssbe na mgpksal kme this yr. And earlier, I just asked him if he thinks mkkpag pakasal b kme.. Di nmn aq nagpupumilit at ngmmdali.. ntnong q lng. Pro un reaction nia😔 at yun word na sinabi nia😔 "ayokong magaya sa baby yun kasal.. pbigla bgla ng dcxon at di planado.. ayaw q na mgpdalos dalos." And so sbe ko nlng skny.. wg sya mgalala dhl nver q n ittnong un skny at nd ndn nmn aq umaasa n mgppkasal kme.. It's like.. he's still unsure kya bat pko aasa na mgppksal kme.. Nkklungkot lng pro wla e.. Gsto qng maiyak..😭😭😭 #advicepls #pleasehelp #shouldertoleanon