upset...

I was busy preparing for dinner in the kitchen for the whole family when my baby cried. The baby was not crying continuously. My husband was in the living room playing game on his handphone. His father came by and said twice very loudly :"wah, noone cares for you ah." I heard already very upset. I am busy and not shaking my legs doing nothing. What does he meant by noone cares for my baby? This is not the first time he said such thing. Usually I close my ears and ignore him but am afraid one day I cannot take it and will tell him off. I am also angry with my husband for not doing what he should, giving other people a chance to shoot us.And if my fil wants to say, shouldnt he shoot his son instead?

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VIP Member

Can feel u.. normally my pil also will said a lot of things like u wake up so early and papa mama still sleep (even I already wake up but still in room), hungry liao la (even I just feed her an hour ago), papa mama bad because not let you watch TV, must carry her, she will fall down... I know sometimes they speak out unintentionally but I really stressed and feel like they blamed me... I keep this for myself for few months and my hb also not sure why I not happy and he felt me no longer patient.. After that I really voiced out to my pil once they make some comments else I think I will depression. Maybe you try to talk to your husband (although I didn't tell my hb as normally he will just keep quiet or just said my parents is not educated make me more angry), if he not do anything then I think you should voice out.

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I would speak to my husband about it in private as its not the first time your fil has done something like this. Either he can explain to his dad it’s not nice to say such things or man up himself to take care of your LO. Otherwise it really sucks to keep all these inside you esp when you’re busy doing things FOR the family. I know how it feels. Your fil may not have bad intentions but every individual needs to know that words can be especially hurtful and it doesnt kill to have abit of tact. Or just shut up if you have nothing good to say. Speaking up for yourself may or may not cause tension in the family so really depends if your hubs is the kind who will stand up for his wife.

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No point to argue. Argue = Everyone upset, angry & Face Black. Don't Argue = Give everyone face & preserve everyone's dignity & avoid stepping on the Elderly BIG Ego (Respect in another way). The old folks think they know everything in the world because of their Age, just ignore their rant=) Talk to your hubby nicely about helping out when you cook dinner. Remember - Harmony is the most important thing in a family. If all else still fail, stop cooking & take care of Baby but still smile & polite with everyone. Use hard & Soft methods haha - you don't lose anything👍

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5y ago

Your FIL may not be directing that at you. He could be also hinting your husband also haha. Remember - Stay tactical (hard & Soft tactics).

I will defend myself straight at my FIL. I’m cooking dinner FOR the family and yet this 2 men (FIL and Husband) are doing nothing except making unkind remarks / shaking leg. The husband especially should go look after the baby when the bb cries. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that the more I tolerate, the more they will take advantage of me / take me for granted.

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Super Mum

My MIL says that too and I'd tell her what she said will affect my baby and then tell baby it's not what the grandma had said and we care for her. At the same time I'll ask my hb to look after baby whenever I'm doing something else. I would be more concern of what the old folks say to baby.

VIP Member

I think is better for u to voice out to your hubby that he shld help to take care of baby while u prepare dinner. And if this happen again, stop cooking. Let the guys - your fil and ur hubby do it. Otherwise, use his credit card to order food is a good idea too!

VIP Member

Please defend yourself next time. If it's me I would slightly raise my voice from the kitchen and say: 'ya lor, so poor thing, baby's daddy play game until don't care baby already'. Then continue to prepare the dinner! 😡

I will ignore it as it is also your husband or the baby’s daddy duty as well Alternatively Go attend to baby and ask husband to take over In kitchen to cook Or pass baby to husband when it’s time for you to prep dinner in kitchen

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VIP Member

Next time just off the stove midway and care for your baby. Next time he won't have opportunity to say that. But instead, wah nowadays no food ah. Lol then u just say, sorry I caring for my baby. Later no one care for him 😂

VIP Member

Er, i would have just shot back and said to fil, ya lor, your son rather play game than look after your grandson. Let them know the baby isn't just your responsibility but is also theirs.