I really hate my mother in law. She gets jealous easily. She made such a big fuss and cried when my hubby gave me a gift for wedding anniversary. My hubby is at his wits end. We bring my in laws out regularly and buy things for her occasionally too. How do I tell her to grow up?

You may find this article useful to help in managing your mother-in-law: http://newlyweds.about.com/b/2012/09/07/jealous-mother-in-laws.htm It is definitely an issue that is not easy to handle but needs to be address. Otherwise, your husband will be caught in the middle and this will put unnecessary strain on your relationship. Begin by starting small, foster a civil relationship with your mother-in-law. Try to find a common topic and earn her respect. Show that you are not “stealing” her son from her (not that you are, but she may feel that way) and give them time to go out together. You can join them on some of their outings and sit some out. Try not to let what she does affect you. Her making a big fuss is probably a call for attention. Get her presents for her birthday (one from you, one from your husband and perhaps a shared present) to show her that she is not forgotten and all of you care about her. While it will not be easy forging a relationship with someone who may not be very friendly towards you to begin with, your sincerity will pay off. All the best!

I often refer to this zone....as the DANGER ZONE. Step 1) located danger(your mum in law) Step 2) Assess the danger (how bad is it? would it cause even more trouble down the road? is it sporadic? or all the time?) Step 3) Understand the danger (find out why it's happening. Jealousy? Not enough time that your husband spends with her? She feels alone cos everyone moves out? No close friends to talk cock with?) Step 4) Diffuse the danger (once you find out the reason or many reasons, try solving it one by one. No friends? introduce her to chat groups or activities with groups. Doesn't trust you? Make it a point to have dinner with her alone just the both of you every week. and etc Step 5) Prevention vs Cure of danger (try your best to prevent it from happening again once it's solved!) Try your best! and be patient always!

If she refuses to grow up, you do. The thing that you mentioned about her clearly indicates that she actually would not grow up and she is on some different wavelength altogether, and you would obviously get frustrated stooping to that level. I suggest, just ignore her and as long as your husband understand all this and knows that you are adjusting and managing, it should be cool with you. And if she pisses you off so much, have minimal outings with her. Less interaction would mean less issues. Also there is no need to tell her that goes between your husband and you if she makes so much of an issue out of it.

It's normal for mothers-in-law to feel left out. But there is a danger that their jealousy will go overboard. The first thing you need to do is to try and understand where she is coming from. Why does she feel upset at something as simple as a gift? You can't control her actions but you can control how you handle it. Respect her above all as the mother of your husband and try to have more patience. Talking to her gently and with love may help in this situation and will also help to strengthen your bond in the process. Hope this helps.

I think its the Husband who needs to sort this one on his own. Mothers tend to feel jealous after marriage as its their kid who has grown and found another lady whom he cares for. In my case I was very concerned when my wife told me that my mother may be jealous. So I apart from gifting and taking her out, I started spending time with her and just listened to her everyday. Then I found its because she was feeling a bit lonely and these thoughts were a direct result of that. My advice, ask your hubby to spend time with her more often.

Your mother-in-law is just a little bit insecure and surprisingly, it is very common after son's wedding!! You hating her would just make the matter worse since it would reflect in your actions.Getting your mother-in-law to change would be more taxing than you experimenting to better the situation. Hopefully, she will come around. Of course keep your husband in loop so he is there for you in case experiment goes wrong :) Try some tips mentioned here: http://postweddinglife.com/dealing-mother-in-law-complete-guide-chapter-3-3/

Hey my friend's mom in law is like this!! Do you by any chance know her or are her? Well honey such mom in laws need to be dealt with very sensitively...But you too need to draw the line very tactfully... why don't you and her go and bond one on one? May be that will help putting her insecurities to rest... Empathize with her and subtly also put your point of view across...Shake her up to reality once in a while...I'm there for more counseling on this if you need ;)

You don’t have to tell her to grow up but instead you should understand her situation that why is she feeling so insecured and discuss this with your husband that how can we make her feel happy and secured For e.g. Like you can give some space to your husband to spend some time with her mom through which your MIL would feel that everything is normal as it was earlier to her sons marriage.

...tell your husband to spend quality time with his mum. We all know that when people gets older they become emotional. If your husband is an only son ..that's twice the emotion. So, until your husband assures that his love for his mum will never falter and until you proved to care for his mum this will never end. Sometimes its not about material things...try kind words, try truly caring.

We take the good with the bad when we marry into a family. As much as hating your MIL can be cathartic and understandable in this case, the more constructive route is to win her over by letting her know that you are not there to take her son away. Instead, you are now her ally in making sure he is loved in all the ways a mother would want her child to be loved.